• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    1 hour ago

    To anyone who feels the need to justify their order to their delivery person: don’t.

    I guarantee that they’ll think about you more if you pull shit like this.

    Literally just give them the money, take the pizza, wish them a good night and close the fucking door.

    I promise that they don’t give any shits what you do with the pizza. Just tip appropriately for your region.

  • Okokimup@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    Lady, I don’t give a shit about your theatrics, I only judge if you’re a lousy tipper.*

    *in the US.

    • Owl@mander.xyz
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      4 hours ago

      The delivery guy probably gets to keep the pizza if there is no recipient

      • QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        4 hours ago

        So you’re saying that the person in the meme did not order the pizza but wants to keep it and tries to accomplish that by pretending there are other people with them? I’m confused, why wouldn’t they just take it without saying anything? How would the delivery person know they are not the one who ordered?

        • Owl@mander.xyz
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          3 hours ago

          I interpreted both messages as said by the pizza guy

          1-st one he says that Pizza’s here

          2-nd one he realises that nobody’s there and that he will be able to eat the pizza

          And the joke would be that he couldn’t afford the pizza with his very low wage so he sheds a tear of joy

          • QuizzaciousOtter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            3 hours ago

            What about the “I” in “I shout to the the empty house”? This would mean that the pizza guy refers to himself in first person in the first line but in the third person in the second line which seems very unusual to me.

  • MrSmith@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Is it because she’s scared of the delivey guy or because she’s embarrassed to eat the pizza alone?

  • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    while living off post in hampton roads I visited a buddy’s apartment and he ordered pizza. The pizza guy didn’t even knock just walked and said “Hi Ben, what are you playing tonight?” and set out the pizzas and breadsticks on the table, grabbed a slice, then sat down on the couch while ben packed a bong hit for him.

    I was like, whoa, uh… and ben was like: “Yeah, he’s also my dealer.”

    • glorkon@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      I once played video games at a friend’s place and we were smoking lots of weed. He had told me a friend was going to come over later. So later that day the door bell rings, I can see him opening the door from where I’m sitting. Female cop stands in front of door and I briefly panicked.

      “Hi Julia, come in.” (to me) “Let’s order pizza.”

      I’ll never forget this image of a German cop in uniform smoking a bong.

    • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
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      5 hours ago

      That’s a smart way to do weed delivery if you can get away with it and have orders packed before you leave the house.

  • lolrightythen@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    I just woke up and am slow and bleary-eyed.

    I could have sworn the second sentence said a bear ran down with the delivery man’s face - because he knew.

    And I was a tad shocked.

  • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    The mistake there is not recording a multi-layered clip of yourself responding in different voices. Time out a delay at the start so you can hit play, start walking, make the announcement and get the “reply” as you open the door.

    It’s the little details to sell the delusion that puts a spark of genuine fear into the drivers’ eyes.

  • tetris11@feddit.uk
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    8 hours ago

    whilst living in the woods I visited my moon friend’s apartment and he ordered pizza. The pizza guy didn’t even knock just climbed the tree, vaulted through the window hole and said “Hi Ben, what are you playing tonight?” and set out pizzas and grenades on the table, pulled a pin, and then sat down with us under the leaf blanket while ben cleaned his rifle and sucked him off.

    I was like, woah, uh… and ben was like: “Yeah, he’s also my dad”

  • Noite_Etion@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Whenever I delivered a pizza to an empty house or to someone who didn’t order a pizza it was great, cause I got to have it. Was one of the few perks of that job.