First question: how would you handle situations where you show interest in someone by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), and they liked it enough to match with you, but not actually respond?

Second question: for those people out there who have someone show interest in you by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), why would you not at least also say hi or some other basic acknowledgment? What is the expectation?

  • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
    2·
    1 hour ago

    If they don’t respond, then move on to the next one.

    Dating online is an extreme numbers game, eventually you will match with someone who gives enough of a shit to reply.

  • ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    4 hours ago

    Move on, send more messages. Understand that women get bombarded with messages, like 100+ every day, and they can’t respond to all of them. You didn’t make the cut this time but eventually you will.

  • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    8 hours ago

    Others covered a lot, but also never forget those apps have huge bot problems and many manipulate shit themselves.

    Their financial goal is to keep you using the site and engaged, not to help you find a partner.

  • davetortoise@reddthat.com
    3·
    10 hours ago

    Value yourself dude, it’s not worth the brain damage of trying to accommodate people who don’t reciprocate or acknowledge effort you put in

  • Krudler@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    13 hours ago

    Don’t take anything personally.

    Everybody moves at a different speed, and if the speed isn’t working for you, take it as a sign. I have found that people who take their sweet time responding end up being a little selfish, because they don’t see you as a person who’s investing time to get to know them, all they see is when it’s convenient for them to reply.

    Sometimes people go on a date and have a great time and then they just don’t go back on the app. Likewise, sometimes people go on the app and they only need about 24 hours to feel like that was a huge mistake and they don’t come back.

    And as for declining or not responding to a blurb. I feel that’s completely fine, you don’t even need to reply. Not everybody is for everybody, and it’s not your job to soothe feelings. Swiping the other way, or ignoring, is a clear sign you’re not interested, and that’s all is required in the adult world.

  • Slatlun@lemmy.ml
    211·
    17 hours ago

    It feels bad when you put in time and thought without any response. That’s not their fault. It isn’t your fault. Something didn’t jive and that was a miss for both of you.

    There is no expectation. Just like you don’t have to respond to me here. Actually, I take that back. The expectation is that they (and you) will only engage their own (or your own) terms. Neither of you owes the other anything.

    What would I do? I would take no response as a hint and back off entirely. Matching carries absolutely no obligation to respond to me.

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      4·
      15 hours ago

      You’re absolutely right about how no one has to respond or keep a conversation going past its expiration date. If anything, I just find it odd to match with someone and not take it any further.

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        10 hours ago

        Sometimes you match while swiping absent-mindedly, and lose interest on a second look.

        Sometimes you hit it off with someone else first.

        Sometimes you just have so many matches that some of them fall through the cracks and get buried.

        I’m going to guess that you do not have a lot of matches, so each one feels precious. But it’s likely that your match has dozens, if not hundreds, of matches themselves.

        Crafting a message that comes off as interesting without seeming desperate is a very delicate skill, and even if you nail it you can still get overlooked. That’s life.

        Dating apps are largely a numbers game. You’ve just got to tune your profile and try not to be too picky yourself. Most of your matches are going to go nowhere, and you can’t let that bog you down.

        • datavoid@sh.itjust.works
          2·
          6 hours ago

          Sometimes you just have so many matches that some of them fall through the cracks and get buried

          Things sure have changed since I was on the apps…

  • Icytrees@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    13 hours ago

    1. Move on. Whatever happened, they’re not interested enough to respond.

    2. I usually respond to thoughtful comments even if I’m not interested. When I don’t it’s because I started dating someone/got busy and haven’t had time to go through all the messages -OR- it wasn’t as thoughtful or witty as they think and I don’t want to engage.

    Some examples:

    • “You sound like a lot of fun. My wife and I recently opened our relationship and…”

    • “You don’t seem like other girls, a rare find in this place…”

    • “I know your profile says no one over (x) years old but I’m (2x) and…”

    • “You look like lots of fun. My wife, her boyfriend and I have opened our relationship and…”

  • Asafum@feddit.nl
    2·
    15 hours ago

    Depends on the site, but since they’re all swipe swipe swipe tinder clones now I’d have to guess they were quick swiping people they found attractive. The algorithm happened to show you to them since you reached out, but they either weren’t in the mood to actually engage in that moment or they found some other reason to not move forward after matching.