kinzo deserves the blender. especially if I’m picking the subtext up correctly

Ushiromiya Kinzo is a bitter alcoholic mogul who had rebuilt his family’s fortune from the ashes lives reclusively in his mansion on Rokkenjima, an island he’d privatized off the coast of Tokyo. He has been given three months to live by his attending physician due to his extreme drinking habits, and is suggested by them to write a will. He is a father of four, and the grandfather to their kids. He harbors great antipathy towards the idea of leaving an inheritance, but has one regret—not seeing Beatrice once more before he is to pass.

Ushiromiya Battler is an eighteen-year old who had prior cut ties with the Ushiromiya Family due to an antagonism between him and his father, Rudolf, in part due to his remarrying to his stepmother Kyrie, though he does not have misgivings towards her. He went to live with his maternal grandparents for six years, but circumstance forced him to return in time for the annual family conference at Kinzo’s mansion

He re-meets his three cousins—George (23), Jessica (18), Maria (9)—and their respective parents—Eva and Hideyoshi, Krauss and Natsuhi, and Rosa—as well as the staff that work on Rokkenjima—Ronoue Genji, Terumasa Nanjo, Gohda Toshiro, Kumasawa Chiyo, Shannon, and Kanon.

To put names to details:

1. Ushiromiya Kinzo — "family head"
2. Ushiromiya Krauss — "first child, heir"
3. Ushiromiya Natsuhi — "Krauss' spouse"
4. Ushiromiya Jessica — "child of Krauss and Natsuhi"
5. Ushiromiya Eva — "second child, second-in-line"
6. Ushiromiya Hideyoshi — "Eva's spouse"
7. Ushiromiya George — "child of Eva and Hideyoshi"
8. Ushiromiya Rudolf — "third child, third-in-line"
9. Ushiromiya Kyrie — "Rudolf's spouse"
10. Ushiromiya Battler — "child of Rudolf, stepchild of Kyrie"
11. Ushiromiya Rosa — "fourth child, fourth-in-line"
12. Ushiromiya Maria — "child of Rosa"
13. Ronoue Genji — "head butler"
14. Nanjo Terumasa — "attending physician"
15. Gohda Toshiro — "chef"
16. Kumasawa Chiyo — "servant"
17. Shannon — "servant"
18. Kanon — "servant"

These eighteen people will be the only ones on the island for the next few days. A typhoon is coming in.

It is known that Kinzo had to take vast loans in order to gain the monetary fund to make the investment streak that propelled him to his current wealth. There are two rumors that are passed around the halls of Kinzo’s mansion:

1. That Kinzo had used high-purity gold bars as collateral for the loans, and that 10 tons of high-purity gold still exists on the island.
2. That Rokkenjima hosts a magical being known as Beatrice the Golden Witch.

In the halls, under a portrait Kinzo had hung of the supposed witch, lies a cryptic epitaph, of which I will only provide the first stanza:

Behold the sweetfish river running through my beloved hometown.
You who seek the Golden Land, follow its path downstream in search of the key.

The parents seek to discuss matters of splitting the dead-man-walking Kinzo’s inheritance. The children seek to catch up with each other after a while. The servants self-proclaim to be ‘furniture,’ so if they’d had anything they sought, it’d be a hard time getting it out of them. Kinzo wants to see Beatrice one last time.

The first few hours are a bit of a drag, and there are a few, well, anime moments at the start. It gets extremely good a few scenes after they get onto the island, a few hours in.

And, if it’s one last thing I can say that might hook you, it’s that this story goes in a very interesting direction that has had me binging it for the past couple weeks.

Here is a guide to installing Umineko Project, the fan PC port of the PS3 remake with remade sprites and backgrounds. The site in which you can do this is https://www.umineko-project.org/en/downloads/. The password for the zips is 035646750436634546568555050. You should be able to glean the rest from the guide, I think.

Alternatively, if you want the option of the original sprites and to buy the game, you can do so through Steam (first four episodes, last four episodes) and GOG (first four episodes, second four episodes). If you do this, definitely install 07th Mod which allows you to control which sprites, text style, background, etc., that you use. The Steam release sprites actually suck and I hate them. the PS3 ones are refined and are still faithful to the characters despite that, the original release ones have this weird charm to them that I cannot explain, but the Steam release ones look entirely uncanny valley and give me the ick. Through 07th Mod, then, either choose to get the original sprites or the PS3 sprites (up to taste), and then probably go with PS3 backgrounds IMO.

Finally, if you don’t want to install it, you can probably get a decent enough replication of the intended experience by watching an uncommentated longplay of it on youtube, but a) be wary for spoilers in the algo and b) being able to open the tips menu yourself is very helpful