• 2 Posts
  • 1.12K Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 25th, 2023
  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoChat@beehaw.org•Ableism
    3·
    11 months ago

    It’s always nice to meet a fellow link collector lol

    I’ll admit it might be a while since I’ve read some of these myself (or in the case of the book pdf - not fully yet) so they might not all be up to date, but the gist should still stand.

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoChat@beehaw.org•Ableism
    3·
    11 months ago

    I’m seriously not debating this with someone trying so hard to justify continuing to use intelligence based insults that they literally compare disabled people to Nazis (who are not, and never have been a marginalised and oppressed group like the disabled people they literally mass murdered. Fuck you) to try and make their logic work.

    If you are actually willing and able to set your defensiveness and biases aside, feel free to read through the links I left in reply Vodulas, or continue to do your own research in to what disabled people have to say about the matter, not those who aren’t directly impacted.

    Either way, I am here to reassure a comrade, not philosophise with ableds about ableism, you either listen to disabled people and do your best to be an ally, or you don’t, that’s your choice.

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoChat@beehaw.org•Ableism
    19·
    11 months ago

    You’re not imagining it.

    I’ve seen it (and many other ableist slurs) used far too often, especially for a site that is generally supposed to be more left leaning (which tbf isn’t saying much when it comes to combatting ableism because we seem to have very few true allies) but is also full of tech-bros, who love punching down at others based on perceived intelligence, and who also have quite a lot of crossover with 4chan type cesspits, so sadly it isn’t unexpected.

    I call it out it when I see it, and generally block and report, but what I find most frustrating is that mods throughout lemmy/fediverse (again, even on the most supposedly left leaning instances like lemmy.ml) just ignore the reports and don’t remove the comments (I know people are busy, I don’t expect instant action, I give it a week or two in general before I check the modlog).
    I’ve had to block several large communities, most that I’m actually interested in (mostly tech and science related, again, places where people love feeling superior based on perceived intelligence), because I get the message - making people like me feel safe and included isn’t a priority in those spaces, so I refuse to occupy them.

    Whether the privileged group accept it or not, that is the result of using slurs - making already marginalised people feel unwelcome and excluded.

    And when they tell me not to be so easily offended, I link this (or maybe this or this) with the full knowledge that they will probably never read it, but with the hope that someone else might, and that it might make them reconsider their use of certain words (though I don’t hold my breath in anticipation of society at large giving a shit).

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•how are some people able to fall asleep anywheres?
    8·
    1 year ago

    Beats me, people saying “if you’re tired enough you can sleep anywhere”, making me laugh my exhausted ass off (and feel jealous af, but can’t really hold it against them).

    I’ve spent more nights than I can count laid in bed for hours, absolutely shattered, wanting nothing but sleep, and none has come. Then when I do finally fall asleep, it isn’t for long or of any decent quality (as in EtraordinaryJoe’s case - chronic pain will do that to you), so I’m still always tired, and yet still unable to just fall asleep.

    My trick to getting to sleep at night is weed and a meal, to help induce food coma, which again, isn’t quality sleep, but it’s better than nothing…

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoRelationship Advice@lemmy.world•How should I feel about a dying parent who's worthless?
    1·
    1 year ago

    We’re all different, so you do you, but I was in what sounds like a similar situation not long ago so I’ll share my experience - my estranged parent was hospitalised in critical condition and expected to die, and I suddenly got bombarded with guilt trips by relatives who I’d also not heard from in years and years and who I’m certain don’t know how badly I was treated, who insisted I should get in touch before the end.

    I didn’t.

    My parent recovered and as far as I know is basically fine again, and I have zero regret, or intention to get in touch.

    I won’t lie and say it was easy, or that I didn’t go through emotional hell those few weeks (E: because the twinge of doubt/guilt/hope that they will change never really fully goes away), but I’ve learned to trust my gut, and to never stop reminding myself that they never have, and never will, own up to how they treated me, let alone apologise - they’ve had plenty of opportunity to do both, and haven’t, so why the fuck do I, the child in the relationship, have to be the bigger person? They never were to me…

    Whatever you do, it’ll be shit, because it’s a shit situation, so the best you can do to make a decision is prioritise your own well being and do your best to ignore the external judgment (that we often also internalise and need to then recognise as an external voice even though it’s in our own mind) of those who don’t know the relationship like you do. Trust yourself.

    And either way - I’m sorry you’re having to go through this, it sucks.

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Donald Duck says eat the rich rule
    1·
    1 year ago

    I never said or even implied we have no agency, but I’m also not deluded enough to think we have free choice under capitalism. We are not only literally indoctrinated from birth and essentially brainwashed our entire lives from that point in to consumerism and “keeping up with the Joneses”, but we are also entirely dependant on participation in the system for survival because it is designed that way. You wanting to think you’re somehow above it (even if you have learned to identify some of the propaganda and try to avoid it, which is simply impossible to do), or wanting to blame those who aren’t “above it” for the system instead of those actively implementing and profiting directly from it, doesn’t change that.

    Freedom, and specifically freedom of choice, is capitalism’s biggest con.

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Donald Duck says eat the rich rule
    3·
    1 year ago

    The point is that the “desire” is entirely artificial and enforced on us as society by those who profit from doing so (and their trillion dollar industries dedicated to this task), not that some people are struggling, because all of us but a tiny miniscule percent of humanity, are struggling (including the non-existent “middle class”, another lie there to maintain division in the working class, and the illusion of “aspiration”), we’re just made to believe it’s normal and part of human nature, when it is anything but.

    Whatever “truth” Buddhism has is honestly irrelevant, especially because it predates Adam Smith and the levels of unprecedented social engineering and indoctrination we’re subjected to in the name of capitalism by so long, its idea of “desire” is completely detached from yours, but even if it wasn’t, all that “truth” is is victim blaming, and shifting responsibility for systemic issues on to individuals, which is a classic tactic employed by those in charge (be it kings, feudal lords, “gods” prophets and whatever other religious figurehead, or capitalists) because it serves them and only them, for us to be pointing fingers at one another (while ignoring literally all of the environmental factors they impose on us) instead of at them.

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Donald Duck says eat the rich rule
    4·
    1 year ago

    But most people don’t directly benefit from, and are directly involved in, the systems that encourage such behaviour, like the ones at the top are.
    Most people are just grinding away selling their labour to survive while convinced by the wealthy-owned media and trillion dollar marketing industrial complex that they’re just temporarily embarrassed millionaires who just need to consume more to make their lives better.
    *Insert “we are not the same” meme here*

  • DessertStorms@kbin.socialtoMicroblog Memes@lemmy.world•Human rights
    9·
    1 year ago

    I generally go once in the morning (going from being horizontal in bed to being vertical out of it usually does the trick) then I’m done for the day. But even if I have to go again I can generally hold it at least for a bit unless it’s a food poisoning type situation… ¯\(ツ)/¯

    But then, digestive systems vary widely, so all that matters is what’s normal for you.