This thought has been bugging me for the past few months. Out of my ~15 partners, only 4 would I describe as “conventionally attractive,” and all of those were decidedly fem (1 cis f, 2 tf, 1 sissy), and they were all bottoms. I (32tf) can’t and don’t want to top.
I consider myself pan and I say I like men, but in practice I only like soft and androgynous types. Fem tops are unicorns, and I seem to only be able to maintain relationships for ~6 months at most. My last relationship with a man was such a disaster that I’m tempted to swing the other way, except I don’t want to be an ace side or whatever terms people use to justify what amount to platonic relationships. I’m also too busy to really care about anyone right now. How do other transfems navigate this kind of sexual/romantic difficulty?
Hmm, I think you should forget about dating and focus on yourself. The dating market is really bad because 85% of people are not worth dating. The only way to get a good mate is to become the best version of yourself and it will come to you. I don’t know how the hormones are affecting you but for me it took the little sexual desire I had and made it nearly non-existent, which is nice for me because I dont feel nearly as lonely as I did with testosterone in my system. I mostly just talk to people for the social interaction at this point.
I also have two lovely kids so maybe some of that is out of my system.
As someone who has long had an exceptionally high sex drive, hormones account for only half of it. Never wanted kids, not into cis women, venomously jealous of grindr kids.