This thought has been bugging me for the past few months. Out of my ~15 partners, only 4 would I describe as “conventionally attractive,” and all of those were decidedly fem (1 cis f, 2 tf, 1 sissy), and they were all bottoms. I (32tf) can’t and don’t want to top.
I consider myself pan and I say I like men, but in practice I only like soft and androgynous types. Fem tops are unicorns, and I seem to only be able to maintain relationships for ~6 months at most. My last relationship with a man was such a disaster that I’m tempted to swing the other way, except I don’t want to be an ace side or whatever terms people use to justify what amount to platonic relationships. I’m also too busy to really care about anyone right now. How do other transfems navigate this kind of sexual/romantic difficulty?
When I had half a dozen partners, I’d see each one of them once every six months, so I was actually getting less contact than when I was doing serial monogamy.
Curiously, when my flatmate had a boyfriend, I was having a rush and he was jealous of my busy schedule despite that it turned into a red flag for the roomie / his partner.
Sorry, I’m having trouble parsing that phrase. You had a busy schedule and that’s a red flag in relationships, or the roommate’s boyfriend’s reaction to your busy schedule…?