This thought has been bugging me for the past few months. Out of my ~15 partners, only 4 would I describe as “conventionally attractive,” and all of those were decidedly fem (1 cis f, 2 tf, 1 sissy), and they were all bottoms. I (32tf) can’t and don’t want to top.
I consider myself pan and I say I like men, but in practice I only like soft and androgynous types. Fem tops are unicorns, and I seem to only be able to maintain relationships for ~6 months at most. My last relationship with a man was such a disaster that I’m tempted to swing the other way, except I don’t want to be an ace side or whatever terms people use to justify what amount to platonic relationships. I’m also too busy to really care about anyone right now. How do other transfems navigate this kind of sexual/romantic difficulty?
I think you’re trying to help. I’ll just say that cis people make relationships with those of different genders asymmetrical. I don’t. I throw out the heteropatriarchal mindset along with any notion that a relationship is some kind of trade or whatever you’re implying by “in return.” I’m nobody’s girlfriend, I’m a doppelganger for my hypothetical partner and will take exactly what I give.
Yes, casual dates are good. I need lots more of those. And cuddles.
I think you read something into that post that wasn’t there. Relationships should be mutually beneficial.
Good luck finding your special someone/s
I do read into things a lot. Like how you ended your post with “someone/s” rather than “someone(s)” considering /s is internet code for sarcasm. Sorry, I’ve just dealt with a lot of hostility in the past so I’m on high alert for it.