I have an active social life but mostly around shared interests, eg book clubs, sports, some activism, etc. Classic friendships not so much, having drifted from childhood friends. Feels like we live in different worlds. My partner has taken that place.
probably once every two or three weeks on average?
I play DnD with some of my close friends. We also try to get together at one of our houses every once in a while to do “arts and crafts” stuff. Paint figurines, carve pumpkins, gingerbread houses, painting shitty paintings with bob ross. Sometimes we have “scary movie night”, or watch over the garden wall, or a new anime that came out something. Sometimes we’ll go out to do things too, the Zoo, or museums, or a haunted house, or coen maze this time of year. We started doing this after COVID. It seems kinda silly, but having a good excuse to get, like, a half a dozen or so friends together and hang out IRL is honestly great. Sometimes i don’t wanna get up on a Saturday to do it, but I’m always glad I did. It’s hard to come up with excuses to do things in person that aren’t prohibitively expensive, nor infrequent.
Becausebof various political shit happening around the world, my main friendship is gone
36, less than once per month
I know I have friends, but they’re all technically my wife’s friends and their husbands. We probably socialize once or twice a month, depending on schedules. I love them all, but I have no friends that I socialize with 1:1. It’s always a group event. So in a way it feels like I have no friends.
The one friend that is truly and originally my friend, since middle school, I’ll see maybe once a month if I’m lucky and it’s usually a framily event with our wives and kids. And the time and distance apart feels wider than ever as we’ve gotten older.
Socializing at 40 is… different, and oddly lonely.
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Socializing at 40 is… different, and oddly lonely.
That’s exactly why one of the neighborhood wives reached out to my wife to see if her husband could join our dnd game or otherwise hang out; she was concerned because he didn’t really have friends that he ever saw or spent time with and felt like it was making him feel very lonely.
This last Saturday I invited him and another neighbor over and we had a side splitting time playing Sundefolk. Now we’re discussing him running a campaign for us.That’s the first new social group of people for me in the last 5 years but it’s pretty damn cool knowing there’s at least 2 other fun dads in the neighborhood.
Edited to add some wordy words
Online pretty much all the time, in real life twice a week, at choir and at band practice. More when there are concerts.
Virtually at least once a week.
In person, about once a month.
Depends on the group.
I go climbing with same group at least once a week.
Then I have my big circle of vegan friends, where we try to see each order at least once a month but that can happen more often sometimes.
Then there’s my classic circle of friends I’ve been friends with forever and the same for that, usually once a month.
So even if you disregard my weekly climbing I usually see at least one group of friends every other week but sometimes every week.
Edit: 31 by the way
i think everyone on this thread should say their approximate location, then DM anyone on your area to see if you’re closer enough to be IRL friends.
I’m in South West Michigan area.
Where is that? Brazil?
No, Brazil is a Terry Gilliam movie from the 80s.
i wish
All my friendships basically dried up and fizzled away by 25. Old friends from school got married, went down different paths than I did, etc.
I’m 38 now and I still occasionally talk to a couple of friends every few months or so (one from middle school and one from high school), but it never goes beyond casual conversation. I haven’t gone out with anyone besides the girlfriend in over a decade.
I feel like you more concisely summarized my early 30s life perfectly. Most of my old friends just went their own way and there’s no major drive to reconnect now. It’s just me, my wife and my son. Everyone else is basically coworkers and my own direct family.
Quite regularly, but only because I coincidentally moved into a house across the road from an acquaintance that became a good friend. We go over each other’s house for tea, or board games, or casual multiplayer video games.
If it weren’t for that proximity I’d say I’d very rarely spend time with friends. Life is busy. Work wants 40 or more hours a week, then you’ve got chores, shopping, study (if you’re doing that, I was studying full time for a year and a bit recently), then you just need time for personal hobbies and relaxation. On top of that, other people can be flaky, or just busy with their own things.
40, roughly weekly with high variation (sometimes not for over a month sometimes five in a week)
Amazing to see that some people think virtual counts as seeing your friends more than rounds-to-0%
My friends and I play video games and talk for hours on end, I definitely count it.
Feels like less than once a month. I don’t have a routine of hanging out with friends. I’m not even sure who considers me their friend. Everyone lives far away and I blame car culture for that.
The big fall off is around 28-30 when most people are committing to families. After that you’re lucky to see them once and awhile.
once in a while
👍
You guys have friends?
