I (22M, heterosexual) am interested in a sensual and affectionate form of intimacy involving purely oral stimulation. My desire is entirely centered on kissing and being kissed as a way to exchange love and pleasure (with oral sex being an extension of kissing). It is so hot to me that it is genuinely all I want, and penetrative forms of sex do not interest me. (Due to medical issues, they also might not work super well at this point.)
I have never had a sexual partner because I was raised with a traditional model of intimacy in which an active male partner penetrates a passive female partner. Since my desires did not fit this framework, I never tried to even date anyone, believing that the type of intimacy I wanted - one in which both partners took turns giving and receiving oral pleasure - was impossible. At least, not without having to participate in an activity that didn’t arouse me.
I am not nearly as ignorant as I was back then, but I would like to know if there is a general dating strategy to efficiently narrow things down to women who aren’t interested in or don’t require penetrative sex.
Does anyone know of someone in a similar situation who found a compatible partner regardless? If so, how did they do it?
Viagra is a vasodialator so it may help with the circulation issues. But like I inferred, having a rock solid erection isn’t essential to enjoying intimacy with people. If you are getting intimate with someone, let them know you have a minor medical issue that you’ll need to work around. I have one, I mention it openly to partners and they’re happy that I’m comfortable enough to do so. I had a lot of bad sex thinking there was something wrong with me (tight foreskin) when I just needed to communicate better with my partners. My best tip would be to ask partners if they have any sex toys and to show you how they like to use them.