Can you believe it folks, I’m outside in my jorts, old man shorts, sunning myself, with no sunscreen mind you, that stuff causes cancer, and Iran, of all people, tries to drone strike me in my naval. Very rude, I’ll have you know, I have actually the strongest naval of any president, that, quite frankly, anyone has ever seen. 
Normal people:
Mossad, MI6, and the CIA: So, picture Trump sunbathing in the nude at Mar-a-lago, with just a hint of pink sunburn starting to form on his shriveled old man balls…