I’m gonna choose the side effect and you choose the power:
“I ___, but only when I’m hard.”am the world’s greatest kindergarten teacher
save kittens from trees
Can revive the dead
“I’m gonna explain everything later, just don’t interfere.”
Pee.
You can give moving public speeches
Becomes the ceo of Bad Dragon
The ability to get my DnD group to have a sensible, routine schedule, with no cancelations.
You DM becomes your literal dungeon master. You’re literally chained naked in a basement, forced to play endless games of DND.
The side effect is intended to be bad.
Have my nose grow every time I lie
but it’s flaccid
squidward
Your nose hair grows proportionally, but when the nose shrinks again the nose hair stays as is
Flying
you lose all leg strength
Extreme fear of heights
‘… I… I just prefer to ‘hover’, ok?’
You get struck by lightning
Mind reading
You realize nobody thinks, that you are the only real human, and all of this is a simulation where you are alone in a virtual reality test room.
All thoughts are formatted in .docx
It turns out nobody really thinks often enough for you to get any information
You’re extra sensitive to reading the minds of non-human animals and can’t turn it off. All the time. Forever.
spoiler
When you read someone’s mind you involuntarily blurt out everything you read.
You can’t turn it off or filter out any thoughts and are lost in a cacophony of thoughts bombarding you every second from evey living thing. Even isolation isnt a relief as the animals and insects asail you with their primitive instinctual thoughts.
Whenever you do it, the fact you’re reading someone’s mind is announced loudly in their mind and in the minds of anyone nearby.
Teleportation
Every time you do it, you land on a poop
And not like a little dog scat either. We’re talking the entire football team ate some bad vichysoise and it hit them during practice and that pile is where you land. Every godsdamn time. You’re starting to wonder if it’s the same pile.
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I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle
Are prostheses and implants considered part of your body for purposes of teleport?
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Tooth fillings?
Granted, but your momentum is teleported with you. The earth is hurtling through space at over 100,000 km and you are on its -spinning- surface subjected to multiple momentum influences constantly.
Keep it to short distances and you might be ok, but with distance comes chaos.
Don’t you Just have to Teleport rapidly Forward in short disxtances then to mitigate that risk? Would probably also bei safer since you could See where to Teleport to.
I can shit at will
You can’t piss at will.
Poor will, never getting that number 1
The ability to focus on stuff i am supposed to do
Congrats! You have this superpower and I am jealous.
Unfortunately you can now only concentrate on things you are supposed to do. You try to watch TV and you can’t follow the show because you’re thinking about how you need to mop the floors. Want to read? You can’t concentrate because you really should wash your windows. Your life becomes a hell of boring productivity. You lose sleep thinking about all the things you’re supposed to do, including how you’re supposed to be asleep by now. There is no more pleasure in life. There are no more quiet moments. There is only stuff you are supposed to do.
How do you know how my brain works? ಠ_ಠ
Super strength
You fart continuously while using it.
Probably the most realistic of the side effects
It’s extremely difficult to control - even grazing an object the wrong way with your finger can end up breaking it into pieces. Giving someone a hug can easily end with you covered in blood from the person you just split in two.
Going to the toilet propells the shit straight through the toilet.
ability to make people say/do what you want them to
You never experience true trust and understanding ever again and you will never see the genuine version of anyone you interact with, only the mentally enslaved shells of people.
that’s a curse not a side effect
It’s really just something that would come with the territory, like the character of Kilgrave.
Super speed of course!!
I like to imagine that this is what it’s actually like for The Flash, or Quicksilver or another speedster:
Sure, you can move super fast, but to do that, your thinking also has to speed up to handle that fast movement. So, it’s more like everything else in the universe slows down except you. Now, it’s still an amazing power, but think about those times when The Flash uses his super speed to build a brick wall nearly instantly, or to read every book in the library in the blink of an eye.
To you, building that brick wall takes what feels like a week. You’re running at what feels like 30 km/h to get a handful of bricks. It feels like it takes you about 20 minutes to get to the place with the bricks. You run them back to the place you’re building the wall, you put them into the wall. Then you run another 20 minutes to get the next load of bricks. While you’re doing this boring wall building, you can’t chat with anybody, you can’t listen to a podcast, you’re just stuck doing manual labour for what feels like a week without any distractions or entertainment.
If you speed-read every book in a library, that feels like it takes a month. Hopefully you like reading dry reference books, or whatever it is you’re reading, because that’s all you get to do for however long it takes. Someone watching you might see you flipping through the pages in fractions of a second. But, to you, it still feels like it takes 2 minutes or so per page, and that’s if the material isn’t difficult to understand.
Maybe super speed needs to come with super autism so that you get really engaged in these tasks and don’t mind sinking what feels like days, weeks or months into one monotonous thing.
I can upvote or downvote as many times as I want
only you see it
I already have this power.
