this_dude_eating_beans [any]

I wish I knew how to do this. I just invested like $100 (lol) in like 5 different things and watch the line go up and down. I think one day the most I made was $10.

Need someone to teach me how to game the system.

I wonder sometimes what it’s like to have a dad. I genuinely can’t relate. Mine was in and out of my life, never raised by him, saw him once every few years. He’s familiar the same way seeing someone you’ve seen around town before is familiar, but not in a way that brings any kind of warmth or comradery.

I don’t really have any strong feelings towards him. He’s attempted to rekindle a relationship between us, but I’m almost 40 now and it feels like trying to bond with a coworker that you don’t have anything in common with. He drinks a lot. Id probably call him more often if he was sober. Then again, I don’t know what I’d say to a stranger. Do we talk about the weather? The handful of memories we share from childhood? That’s always an easy go-to.

So, no, I don’t dislike my dad. I don’t even know him. He’s just this figure that has been somewhat present at various times in my life without any sort of deeper emotional attachment, like a familiar dream I keep having.

Nostalgic for this era of the internet.

damn the good die so young

If you’re able-bodied, I cannot stress enough how much exercise does for emotional regulation. Used to think this was all bullshit but then after a few days of consistency, it turned into weeks and now here we are years later. It’s such a needed outlet and an important part of my day. I still get moments of depression, but exercise has made it not as long or as intense. It also gives you a goal which I think is needed. Having something to look forward to, some sort of routine, I feel is something innate, and feels good to work towards something.

Saw people saying “he’s Italian, of course he could’ve grown a unibrow in 4 days” and I’m like

Pensylvanians eating the shit I used to make when I was 7 and mom left me home alone because she had to work.

kum & go will now be renamed to Get your dick sucked and fill up your big truck

Pretty good litmus test tbh. Anything more than “I guess it’d be cool to see the earth from orbit but that’s about it” usually turns into this weird space eugenics type shit.

Unless your answer is “it’d be cool to live in that anarchist space station/meteor wreckage thing from that one episode of cowboy bebop where they meet that chess master” then going to space is cool

sad that the god king Genghis Khan isn’t alive today to experience the miracles of a bidet. I think he really would have enjoyed a nice, clean asshole as he was conquering and pillaging villges

If there’s no one around to observe your forced performance of the idealized version of masculinity, can you still call yourself a man?

Thinking back, the first thing that started my spiral in highschool and eventually snowballed into me dropping out was a mandatory public speaking assignment in a fucking health class during sophomore year. I was a pretty decent student up until then.

I had really bad social anxiety that no amount of “suck it up and get over it” would have fixed. I wasn’t able to confront and remedy it until years later.

But yeah, forced to give an oral exam in front of a class of 30+, just skipped the entire class, took the F, my grades tanked to the point it was impossible to recover without repeating years and summer school. My mom already barely had enough money as it was, forget going to summer school. So I just dropped out.

The teacher was completely indifferent when I told her in private and gave me the whole “you either do it or fail” so yeah. A year later I dropped out. Life didn’t really turn out much different had I graduated, though so there’s that. Maybe I would’ve struggled less in my 20s, idk.