Get ‘em at the gettin’ spot

It’s sending personal info to Microsoft for marketing purposes

I’ve seen that. Cringeworthy.

From Chicago O’Hare (ORD) to Istanbul (IST) in 40 minutes

Your plan A shouldn’t be plan B. It should be plan C or D. Although the D would be why you’re taking plan B. So maybe plan B or C. But I guess it’s called plan B. I guess you don’t have to read this post now.

I laughed way harder at this than I should have

Every. Fucking. Time.

We use freedom units, where everything is measured in cheeseburgers.

I usually throw some condoms in my cart to make the ski mask, duct tape and shovel seem less embarrassing

WONDEROUS!!!

Reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKS3MGriZcs

And that’s what I appreciates about yous

They don’t fly, that’s for plebs. They teleport

I mean, if it’s gonna happen, what better way than on a giant tube full of screaming people freaking out for the last few moments of my life?

So what you’re saying is, I should exclusively fly on Boeing planes?

Oh man… I want to say yes, but then what happens if the plane needs to do an emergency water landing afterwards… or would that be an emergency watering??? I can’t handle this stress!!!

I think even if it hits and explodes, as long as it’s on land and not water that qualifies.

I fear no man… but that… thing… scares the hell out of me

Well son, it’s better to regret something you have done than something you havent…

The song “Satan” by Orbital