“…because our beef is beautiful and theirs is weak.”

My brother in christ, what the fluffer nutter cyberfuck are you talking about?!?

With the bridge of Here Comes the Sun playing on repeat in his space suit the entire trip.

🎶 Sun, sun, sun, here it comes 🎵

🎶 Sun, sun, sun, here it comes 🎵

🎶 Sun, sun, sun, here it comes 🎵

🎶 Sun, sun, sun, here it comes 🎵

times 10 billion.

Did the freightliner carrying the plastic trash shoes to port sink or something?

Please say from a cannon.

For the record, I personally love meeting and engaging with tourists, telling them about great places to check out in my town…I’d rather share time and space with a foreigner than a member of the Shit-Flinging Orangutan Cult any day. But I fully support a top-to-bottom boycott of this whole-ass country by the rest of the world. Bring our economy to its knees, please. Americans need a whole damned lot of humility.

Will it not come to fruition?

Are you still attempting to influence that adage becoming well-understood by the common man? I dare say that I don’t believe that will come to pass.

If I ever form a politically-themed comedy band, we’ll be called John Barron and the P-Tape All-Stars.

deleted by creator

Yeah, that was kind of a layup.

2000 was the last year of the second millennium and also the first year of the 00s. 2001 was the first year of the third millennium and the second year of the 00s.

Exactly. Which is why…

Because Bow Wow was in a movie called Lottery Ticket.

My diagnosis was based on a number of tests. One such test was related to speeded processing, basically how quickly a person’s brain analyzes things and makes decisions. It required me to look at a series of pages (one at a time) featuring a particular design for about six seconds or so, and to then identify on the flowing page the same design from a group of four, five, or six similar designs (there were more to choose from as the test went on). If I got one wrong, I’d have a second chance to choose the correct image. Two wrong answers in a row and the test would be over.

I was told at the beginning to not feel bad if I didn’t finish the test because no one ever does. Well, I did, and very quickly. I made one mistake on one picture, but I’d had it narrowed down to two images, so I was able to quickly recover when I made that one mistake. After a while, after every correct answer, the doctor’s eyes became wider and wider, until I finished and she just said, “Welp…that was THAT test!”

When I got my test results, it had me well into the 99.9th percentile. Upon informing me of this, she asked me “Does this surprise you?” to which I replied no, not really. I’ve always felt like I think WAY more quickly than the rest of the world. And it is both a boon and a burden. It serves me well and will continue to do so in the post-apocalyptic times to come.

But it’s also caused me to queer relationships because I don’t think about things before speaking sometimes, and - as an autistic person - connections with others are sometimes few and far between. So having confirmation now that my brain really does work this way helps me feel empowered enough to work on myself and that tendency to think/act/speak too quickly, because the relationships I have with people are immensely important to me.

Or…and just a thought…maybe people know their own truths better than you ever possibly could, and when they tell you that early diagnosis and therapy would have helped them immensely, you just believe them?

Also, I got diagnoses for Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Panic Attacks as well as Major Depressive Disorder, and having those diagnoses as a teen might have helped as well, ya know?

Same with autism. It wasn’t until I had my master’s degree in math and teaching high school at age 39 that it ever occurred to me that I was autistic. A colleague and I had a mutual student, and he told me that he thought she might be autistic and that he was going to refer her to the school’s diagnostician for testing.

So I found myself curious about the symptoms of autism, because Rain Man was my frame of reference. I researched the symptoms in the middle of a Geometry team meeting, and everything I read had my sitting up further and further in my seat, until I just blurted out “Oh my GAWD…?!” My colleagues asked what, and I said “Y’all…I think I might be autistic?” They looked at one another quizzically, like they were shocked at my personal revelation. One of them replied, “Wait…you didn’t know?!” I said, “…what, you DID know?!?” She was like “Yes! We all know that about you! You seriously didn’t know? 😂” HELL NO I DIDN’T KNOW!

I immediately called my mom on the phone to tell her that I thought I might be autistic. “Yyyyyeah…your dad and I always thought you might be.” HOLY FUCKING SHIT MOM WTF??? 😲😲😲WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER GET ME TESTED?!? "Well, you always made such good grades that we just didn’t think it mattered that much.

I have since been diagnosed with ASD Level 1, and I think back a lot on my life lived. I marvel at how much easier my life would have been if I hadn’t had to develop all of these coping mechanisms myself. I did well in school despite my autism. I earned two degrees despite my autism. I hold down teaching jobs despite my autism. The biggest problems I’ve had in my life, though, have been personal relationships. I can’t imagine how much richer my life might be right now had I known all along how to exist as a self-aware autist in a neurotypical world.

I don’t feel it makes sense to drink the principal sake. Am I Japanese?

Addio and farewell!

“Daddy…I have a joke for your career…!”