he’s sponsored the raise the wage act in the last five meetings of congress

i have this one and its pretty satisfying https://muji.ca/products/manual-paper-shredder

me giving an eight minute answer about how there is no creature in the karmic cycle of rebirth more deserving of contempt, devoid of the most basic essential life force that binds all other creatures on earth, wouldn’t spit on if on fire, continued failure to be devoured by locusts basically single-handedly disproving the existence of a just creator, etc.

researcher: ok I’m gonna put that down as Strongly Disagree

good luck bitch im in madame web’s anus

teleport, size manipulation, super smell. i am constantly teleporting into the rectums of famous actresses and experiencing ego death as their farts wash over me and erase all other sensations. i don’t even remember my name or how long I’ve been doing this for. all i know is my mission. i am the fartshifter

i mean, i think it just helps children to emotionally navigate a serious illness, which is something that everyone eventually experiences. if you’re fortunate enough to experience it after you’ve built up some emotional resiliency and coping mechanisms, that’s great, but otherwise it can be really distressing and overwhelming for kids.

ive always imagined that test audiences believed it to be a prosthetic and therefore a deliberate creative choice by lars von trier. which is fucking hilarious, because it so thoroughly cheapens the serious arthouse themes he was playing with of like sex and nature and depression if you believe another theme he wanted to showcase was “and the guy has an absolutely monstrous hog”

the good news is it’s very easy to get some practice

yeah but you used to be able to use it. like if your family friend Margaret was eating five zucchinis at once lengthwise you would say “Margaret, stop being such a courgette slut”. or if a pressure cooker full of oatmeal exploded and covered her face with oatmeal you could say that Margaret got oatmeal bukkaked to explain to the intake nurse at the hospital.

nowadays you cant say that kind of thing. because of woke.

yeah personally i was hoping they’d give the role to margo martindale

whoa, was Voldemort after them?