And go through metal detectors every day at work.

I’m jelly of Americans, who will never have to deal with that bullshit. Nope, not at all!

A tax cut for me is just a tax cut for me, but a tax cut for the rich could make anything happen – maybe even a tax cut for me!

“My word, this excursion is quite the jocular exercise!”

I can believe that. Most women would rather have a date with a turkey baster than him.

“It’s a Krustybuuuuuuuurger!!!”

Hell, I could go for that. Sitting on the tailgate, eating my can of pasta, watching the water flow by, no reports to finish, no quotas I need to meet.

The real jerks are the wasp queens who kick out the workers so they have to go begging at picnics.

As you wish

Makes me think that if there is a God, this would be an easter egg.

Vegas now have triple 0 roulette tables

Stupid inflation!

Well, that’s a brand new sentence.

As someone who owns my own home, let me just say…me too. I don’t care if my house value goes to zero. I still have a house. I don’t know how anyone in the middle class can get into house ownership without crippling debt.

The only ones who should cry are the home-hoarding investors and landlords. Fuck em.

Meh, fist-size drywall repair kits are cheaper.

I want to get into his dreams all Inception-like and convince him that Greenland is the new Israel.

“None y’all have anything worth smiling at down there.”

Flirt on, if you like her. You’re gonna be awkward. It’s gonna be supacringe. If she digs you, and is worth your time, she’ll like the awkwardness. She’s looking for a fellow human, not a love god.

But if she gets turned off, then it wasn’t meant to be. You have failed, but you have learned, there’s still a billion-odd potential mates left to meet.

With all due respect to him and his family, a jetski escape does sound pretty bitchin…i’m imagining him rocking aviator sunglasses, carving through waves with a supermodel in each arm.

Fellas, is the Constitution woke?

So…gender-affirming hormone therapy?