Time and attention well spent.

E: I have to add an /s to that? Seriously? Who reads this and goes “That’s somebody’s real take!”

Funny because true

I just can’t follow the logic, I’m sorry. These people and businesses are worth millions, aren’t they? However 4% of millions could mean the difference between affluence and living on the street is beyond me. I mean, what other threats could realistically force millionaires to leave a place? Being butthurt? I’m betting they certainly won’t be too afraid to pick up the phone and call their wealth managers to tell them to start making their money work even harder for them than before.

Hence, OP wrote “asshole.” I presume.

Isn’t Colorado currently a blue state?

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I can’t believe I had to scroll to find this

One-way tickets to Guantanamo for everyone!

A dick suck ain’t cheatin’

“Half” makes it sound like 50% of the US population are cowards. I’m European, so I’ll make fun all day for shits and giggles, but even I know there’s not that many cowards in the US.

Pay close attention. He’ll take your brain to another dimension.

Sealand was always there, but Flevoland was made this way. God created earth, but the Dutch, blablabla.

Not milk. I’ve heard that ice cream helps.

Yet

Okay, in all honesty I’m not trying to be hostile, but I get why it seems like I am. You may want to rethink the “product unto themselves except that you need” sentence. That’s straight not how language works.

Defending a product by trying to upsell with accessories has got to be the most Apple thing

Sorry to be a drag but this is incomplete and that makes me anxious

Hey, if that’s their thing…