Because he’s 84 and not dead yet.

Sometimes a person says what they actually mean instead of what they mean to say. We call that a Freudian Dick.

Geez this is a deep cut.

Stan all trying to plot a course to Ferenginar on the sly.

Neither too few nor too many.

“I UNDERSTAND that one time you saw YOUR MOTHER wearing CLOTHING. The HORROR of it. THE DRAPING FABRIC. THE DELICATE EMBROIDERY. The WAY it BUNCHED UP AROUND HER. I cannot begin to FATHOM how DISGUSTING it must have been for you. TO SEE YOUR MOTHER THERE in CLOTHING. This is not the kind of thing I like to imagine. The FOLDS and GUSSETS and BUTTON HOLES. Imagine your mother PUTTING HER CLOTHING ON, thrusting her STUBBY FINGERS through her BUTTON HOLES as she DRAPES HERSELF IN FABRIC. And when she was done she LOOKED IN A MIRROR…”

I am ugly laughing at this. Well done.

Yeah, the goddamn wooden spoon. I remember being noisy in a crib and my mom storming into the room screaming and busting the spoon in half on the side of the crib. She’d already hit me with it so I knew exactly what it meant. I got spoons, open hand, and hairbrushes for most of my childhood. Hair pulling, pinching, and ear-twisting too if we were in a situation where she couldn’t just haul off and hit me.

The funny thing is, she called me up about a decade ago and asked if I could remember anything about my childhood that was bad. And rather than list everything off, I told her about the time she broke the spoon on the crib. That’s when I found out that it hadn’t happened at all, and in fact if it had happened it was because the spoon was old and brittle and if she’d done anything at all it would have been a light tap on the side of the crib to get my attention, and now that she remembers it yeah that’s exactly what happened. It just fell apart in her hands. We didn’t talk for a few years because of that and other things.

After my daughter was born, she sent us a package that included two beautiful olivewood spoons from Israel. I use the fuckers when I’m making pasta. She calls or texts every once in a while warning me about protecting my daughter dark, evil things in the world. This usually happens when she sees a picture of my kid playing with a toy spider or a halloween skull. And I just chuckle and agree that there are dark, evil things in the world and I’m doing my damndest to protect her from them.

Bones is, as usual, thrilled to be there.

This is my favorite thing I’ve seen today.

Nah it’s just flat-out racist. C’mon, people.

Not the flex he thinks it is.

And he gets all icky when he sees blood.

J. D. Vance sounds like a men’s big & tall outlet with weird font on their sign.

Ugh.

Oh same, and we need more dems like her in general, but I’m not going to be too disappointed when she chases Pelosi’s job instead.

AOC wants to be Speaker, not President.

Also the campground at any Phish show.

Strong “the meeting will continue until I have broken you” energy.

This whole thread makes me so mad. Well done.