My favorite bit to pull out has always been “You know what I always looked forward to about owning my own home? All the fucking rules that come with it about what I’m allowed to put in the yard or paint it. Sign me up!”

Yeah it’s a real chore to fit ~20 hours in an audio booth into your schedule every other year. How does she do it?

He was a clear and present threat to property values everywhere!

(That is the sole reason shit like this exists today. HoAs came about originally to keep nonwhites out of the neighborhood and now we’re stuck with them.)