came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]

lol, how is this not a bit?

look at that plate for christ sake… burger + side of mayo? + side of ranch? and a sugar drink.

this mother fucker is going to singlehandedly get more working class Americans and their kids killed than all the others.

not to be one of those guys and reference a bit from the US version of The Office, but there’s an episode where Jan, Michael’s ex/boss wants to get back together. at this point in the show, Jan has been revealed as an abusive, cruel, self-aborbed and unhinged person. Michael had been the target of her abuse until he finally lost it and dumped her.

anyway, when she comes back to “make up”, Michael has no interest at all, is still afraid of her. until she takes off her coat and it’s revealed she’s gotten a pretty serious boob job. he instantly folds and wants to get back together.

it’s an absurd and amusingly shot scene, but at the same time, I personally know like several guys here in the US that would enter into a relationship with an obviously evil demon if that demon had a cartoonishly artificial set of booba.

my first job was at a Greek place owned and operated by a Vietnamese family.

he might not make the best Pope, but he would definitely make the best Poop.

boom. gottem.

fluoride mineralizes and closes your third eye.

lead opens up you up to eternal, spiritual wisdom.

like how pooping the bed and rolling around in it while squealing jibberish turns you into an antennae for Christ.

lmao, the chicken next to general tso and Mao got me.

there’s an onion video floating around as a “Behind the Pen” with Kelly about his “process” with visual examples of his drafts and editorial changes.

basically a gag is that he is a billion times more cartoonishly racist and stupid than you would think, and he goes back and forth with the editor who makes him tone it down in order to get published. it’s outrageously oniony.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVtbkQMwJS4

Hey, it’s me again. I thought I heard the phone ring, and maybe you were calling me back. I just want to talk. I’m sorry or whatever that it’s come to this. I thought we were just putting on a show. I know I was, but just for my friends. Anyway, please call me back. Sorry for all the messages. I miss you. I’m sorry. Just tell me what I need to do to get you back in my life. (sigh) It’s Donald, by the way. Call me.

yeah, I’m on that advanced degree train, but haven’t arrived at the money station. I would say I am probably above average income for my age in similar Cost of Living Areas, but below average for my education in the same. I’m also a tightwad and a scrapper, so I feel like I ball now because I’ve been in far shittier circumstances.

i have experienced my MSc work to let me out-compete BSc havers for desirable jobs in the public sector and I expect it will probably help me promote up over time so long as I handle my actual shit in the mean time. so, no regrets.

ever since I got it, I have been trying to get an honorific associated for the MS/MA, the way PhDs get “doctor”. I was thinking “Maestro”, but so far it hasn’t caught on.

any analysis of income in the US is kinda butt cheeks without geography / cost of living (aka social reproduction) brought in.

when 33-50% of what most people deposit goes right back out just so they can have somewhere behind a locked door to set their shit down at night and wash their ass… there’s enough variability in what they actually make after baseline shelter, food, healthcare, required transport, and debt servicing for the amount on the paycheck to be obscured what’s going on.

just about everything sold in a convenience store is some kinda poison or scam.

I mean, except like the bottled water/juice and the BC powder you’re getting for that soul shattering hangover working you over under the hardhat after you just blew chunks behind the dumpster in the parking lot.

it’s not even 8am and already 90°… fucking a, can somebody else drive to the job site while I just close my eyes and meditate on a life that doesn’t so closely resemble my own?

Burgerland used TANTRUM!

God gives his most brutal crypto rugpulls to his most loyal memecoin supporters.

lol 7 part time cops for a tiny village of 1,000. gimmie a fucking break. I like that one lady who said, “they were never around when we called for help BEFORE they quit.” lmao. cops rage quitting is always going to backfire.

this comment is darkly hilarious:

haha, reminds me of when I realized I could buy 2-buck chuck by the case at trader Joe’s, so I could have an entire bottle of wine for like $2.30 or whatever it was.

I got pretty wrecked on the front porch every day for a while. felt classy too.

lol, damn could get pretty lit up for a buck.

I just noticed the parental advisory sticker. spare me.

man accused of being cool in Texas, a state that has spent its entire corrupt existence stealing and pooling resources to obliterate everything cool.

act now, provide me with 10 referrals, and if at least 3 sign up for the Gold package, you will receive a free Diamond upgrade and I will have a wizard bless your filtration system using magic scrolls that will prevent and protect everyone in your household from intrusive thoughts about having gay sex with their dad.

based on the readings I’ve been getting my crystal powered ultrasonics device for thought capturing ($125 USD, patent pending), you can’t afford NOT to buy this filtration system.

trump sitting in a darkened room at Mar a Lago in sweat pants eating fish filets with wet eyes and a lump in his throat, this playing on his bluetooth paired speaker on loop.