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i can’t tell if you know more or less than me about what SEO is

im sorry officer, i didn’t know i couldn’t do that

political power is when you assure your leaders that there is nothing they could do to lose your vote short of fucking your mom and even then you would have to consider whether the other guy would fuck your mom worse

the amount that I got better at noita is higher than for any other game and/or bachelor’s degree

even setting aside the guys personal qualities he’s just a real turd of an actor. in recent memory he’s ruined or attempted to ruin suicide squad, blade runner 2049, and house of gucci. his performance in house of gucci is possibly one of the worst accents ive ever seen an actor commit to, hes literally doing a Mario impression for two hours.

plus he’s a method actor, which is frankly ridiculous given the quality of his output, so whenever you see him on-screen playing like, a sea captain, you have to suffer with the knowledge that real people in his life probably had to watch him try to order hardtack and salt pork from a benihana’s

glad to see the secret art of reading comprehension remains closely guarded

i am struggling to either parse or believe this. you have successfully gotten an answer to the search query “what’s that song that goes do do do do do do do”?

ive been doctorless for years. good thing people don’t have check engine lights

interestingly i heard that his heart has already decayed into extremely rich bitumen. they’re planning a memorial where once a year they extract a tablespoon to light a small flame and the smoke will be blown into a cambodian infant’s face

well, i think the idea is generally that Americans like issues to be decided at a state level rather than federally due to general “small government” principles, like they can trust their state level government to be more specifically beholden to their interests. this is usually in a right wing context, but not always, like famously California has much stricter environmental regulations than the rest of the country.

sure, but i guess what i mean is like, that’s why the meaning of the idiom is clear to me even having not tested or watched someone test what the actual effect of firing a gun into a barrel full of fish would be. if you were ever in a conversation, prior to watching that episode, wherein someone used the idiom to describe a task, and you were like “oh, you mean that’ll be easy, because the shockwave from a gun shot would kill all of the fish in a barrel at the same time”, before you watched the mythbusters episode, i guess you’re a lot smarter than me

i always thought the point was that even if you miss, you’ve now shot a hole through the barrel and the water will drain out, killing the fish anyways

jordan peterson cooking up a whole new type of idiot. can’t wait to see the first cohort of freethinkers launch a series of startups based on stuff like reselling the breadsticks from olive garden

article says he was fired in 2016 for being a member of a terrorist organization, but like, why wasn’t that grounds to revoke his medical license?

yeah i found this comic so opaque that i had to go look up the artist

it turns out that this is an explicitly christian comic where each strip is accompanied by a bible verse. the theme of this one is “love must hate evil” and it’s accompanied by Ezekiel 33:11, Proverbs 6:16-19 and Luke 13:3

it sort of explains why you get that weird feeling when you read it, because the point of the comic is not to be funny but to communicate some kind of moralistic lesson, and the straight-line clarity with which the comics do that is in direct conflict of the normal subversion of expectations that typically makes things funny

that said, basically all of the comics that deal with death are to me unintentionally hilarious because i do not share the worldview that dying and going to heaven is like, a net positive

https://www.thelamboy.com/comics/forsake-all

https://www.thelamboy.com/comics/ultimate-life-insurance

https://www.thelamboy.com/comics/boasting

all in all this was a kind of fun little excursion into something i would absolutely never have looked at otherwise. i’m gonna go ahead and just not try to look into what the artist thinks about gay people so that this can be a positive memory for me lol

it’s crazy that trump has basically trained us all to be able to understand him because he’s basically incoherent. in speeches he alternates between pre-written sections that he is clearly struggling to read, and completely thoughtless ad-libs like “many people are saying this” which he will say about literally anything. and in more spontaneous formats he’s just all over the fucking place, he just leaves a trail of sentence fragments behind him until he’s decided he’s talked for an appropriate amount of time. and his voice, i mean, he sounds like mark hamill’s joker after dental anesthesia. they should play his speeches on speakers mounted to the underside of cargo ships to repel whales

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