Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Look after yourself and take time to make decisions.

I’m sorry I missed this comment when you posted it, but your second cent is an absolute gem, truly a series of thoughts I’d not considered. I’m not the same person I was 30 years, so why would she be.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I’ve put an update above on my plans and it follows what you’ve advised, I really appreciate the advice my friend.

Thank you, and remember you got this.

Thank you friend, appreciate it and no sir or ma’am, I am definitely a long way from high school. I like the phrasing of “nostalgia doing the heavy lifting”, you’re speaking the truth and I hear you.

Just write it from the heart, tell him what you’re feeling and know that a man that flew halfway across the US to support you will be bowled over by the gesture. There’s literally nothing you can say in your message to him that will be wrong if it comes from your heart.

I find poems are nice, but I appreciate it isn’t for everyone, but just start with a few lines, 6-8 words in each that describe the picture in your head of how you feel about your dad. Don’t worry about rhyming, and punctuate as you’d speak it.

I’m sorry for your loss my friend, and I appreciate what you’re saying. My thing is poetry and verse, I’ve been trying to get back to it but everything I seem to write isn’t good. I did however sleep for a solid six hours last night and wrote something this morning about letting first love go which I’m actually proud of. I find it very cathartic. I also struggle to speak out loud what I’m feeling, but writing it is somehow easier for me.

Sending you the very best vibes.

Thanks again my friend, I appreciate you and your advice. I have booked two additional sessions with my counsellor to discuss this issue and I’ve been working through the grief with them, but it’s hard. Loosing someone to suicide is so difficult to process, I’ve lost people before but this feels like grief with an amplifier attached. I’ll work it through. The separate beds started after that because it had a lot of difficulty sleeping and didn’t want my wife to have to lose sleep too, but you are right, I need to talk it all through and face it. Thank you again.

Well, I’ll tell you what, that’s a good piece of wisdom you’ve shared. Much obliged, friend. Thanks for taking the time to share it with me, I do genuinely appreciate it.

You’re right but, but take my upvote friend. Love is love.

Thanks friend, others suggested this too and I have two extra appointments confirmed for the next two weeks to discuss this. Appreciate you looking out for me here, genuinely I do.

That’s a curveball, friend, but I like your style. Open chats with all parties, make it a family affair. A touch of honesty can work wonders.

It is not an option no.

Thanks for sharing that, I appreciate the time it took to put that together and the effort in sharing it.

Thanks for your advice and in answer to your question I just want to speak to her in person again after all this time. I’m afraid that she will still carry a flame for me, and honestly, I’m afraid I might feel that too in person and get swept up in it all.

Not at all, took it in the spirit you meant it

Thank you, I appreciate you views here.

Thank you and again, you’re good at that cold read; it has been a long bumpy road and I am currently supported, stable and fulfilled. This for me I think is about dealing with addiction and regret…and that’s what I’m going to be talking to my counselor about at our next session. I really do appreciate all the advice I’ve had on this thread, some of it is a bit flippant but offered nonetheless, yours however has been insightful and welcome. Sending those good vibes back fellow internet stranger.

Thanks for taking the time to bring this advice, I appreciate your perspective.

Thanks friend, I appreciate that perspective.

Thanks for this, I read your comments when you posted them but have just been booking a couple of extra sessions. Really good shout and thanks for reminding me I have this.