Bigger stuff does need to happen. Nobody in power is even really opposing the bad stuff happening.
But this movement will still have power. It doesn’t have to be a fatal hit, to be effective. The power doesn’t come from striking, it comes from engaging the masses and giving them direction, people are scared, they’re not going to go from 0 to 100, it needs to start small. People want to do something and doing something will give them hope, which is desperately needed right now. One day may not feel like much, but the companies would feel it, and be scared, especially if a lot of people participated. They would feel the absence, and know how huge the numbers are, against them. It’s a shot over the wall. It’s a display of power, it’s a warning shot.
It also has the power to get people on board for longer term methods, people start thinking about what they’re buying and what they can go without, on an individual basis, re-examining what they’re buy and from who. It might cost $5 more from the small seller, but the small seller makes it themselves and doesn’t support fascism.
We have all the power really, we just need to unite in one flock of movement. You’re right, we could all go in for the death shot, stop buying from one company entirely, one by one, collapsing them, but how do you organise that when algorithms are controllable and all the social media are owned by these people who are, essentially, the enemy. (except tiktok, that was popular / populated enough and not owned by the same people, hence the hostile take over, they were organising over there, and Bam, instantly organised a hostile take over. Look up tallgirl6234, on tiktok, she organised a massive 3 month long boycotting set up, starting with Kelloggs and including all the other evil overlords)
Big movements, can and do start small. People need to hear about it, and more will join, that alone has ultimate power. The most important thing is numbers. Plus those billions in profits, come from the billions of people. Getting billions of people together, and then doing some capitalism damage, starts somewhere. Join every movement. One or more might be the steamroller that takes it all down.
The reason you find the types you’re going for more intriguing is because they feel familiar, they feel like what you know… I’m going to guess they’re pretty similar to what you grew up with or knowing. Learning that hit me hard, because I can definitely relate to how you date, hugely.
Unknown comes with a level of nervous system stress that you aren’t ready to confront. They behave in different ways, you don’t know what they’re feeling or what will set them off and that not knowing has a huge amount of impending Doom to it, because unpredictable is terrifying, when you have been raised in violence.
The people you’re choosing are the devil you know. That feels safer. You can’t imagine, on a fundamental level, that people come without that level of violence you grew up seeing. So the ones who aren’t that same familiar choice, sub consciously you see them as just as capable of incredible violence, but it’s a complete unknown, which feels like it’s going to expose you to extreme levels of new traumas. So you shut down towards them, and can’t form connections, sub consciously it feels to dangerous.
I should probably have put this disclaimer before I wrote all this, but I am not a mental health professional and I’m just reflecting some things I’ve found that I feel might fit, just a layperson who has walked a similar walk, and tried to find the why, these were some I found, I don’t know if any of them fit for you.
You seem really cool, I love your brain, I love the way you think, you are really astute and self aware. You have a great grasp on what’s going on around you and you can really see the forest for the trees. It’s so rare to find that level of insight, I really enjoyed reading what you wrote.
I don’t really know what the answer is. The more you work at this, the better you’ll get at it. You are able to spot a lot of it, with such a keen eye, maybe take it one step at a time, rather than fix it all at once or make big changes. What are some deal breakers you feel you might need to put in place? What behaviours definitely, always lead somewhere super bad? You have real expertise here. You can still date amongst the people you are choosing, but what boundaries or deal breakers do you need to put in place to protect yourself, to keep your world aligned with all the hard work you’re putting in, and keep aligned with the ideals you’re building for yourself. Who is walking in the same direction as you. Who is capable of the hard work and self reflection, similarly, that you dedicate yourself to. Find someone who can walk with you, and isn’t dragging you off path. Someone focused on the same goals.
There is no hierarchy. That bullspit is all an illusion. You are just as worthy and valued and and deserving of all the things as any of us in a meat suit. When you are more able to see that truth, it’s easier to walk away when others don’t treat you well. When you believe in the core of yourself that you aren’t lesser, it almost impossible to stay with someone who treats you as such. There are good people out there, who want to work and build amazing versions of themselves, like you. Find your people. You got this, already, though. You know. The fact you even ask, that you are already able to see toxic that goes too far, you need to give yourself more credit, you’re already a wiz at this. Just be patient and keep choosing you.