

/e/OS has official builds for the fairphones, you can re-lock the bootloader there, afaik. At least according to this: https://doc.e.foundation/devices/FP5/install
You can also buy the phone directly with /e/OS pre-installed & closed bootloader, from what I read on the fairphone website.
I think they meant this like “This court is not a cartoon, so keep your cartoon character out of it” - cartoon as in the medium, not the character.