Rough translation with surely a lot of mistakes:

I have paranoid shizophrenia!

I see bread! (red -> bread and the bread is a character from German kids TV)

Go Away!

That Guy has a Nutri-Score of “Opfer”. (Opfer means victim and is used as an insult, Nutri-Score is a nutritional score printed on product packaging in super markets)

That’s why talking to therapist Dr. Oetker (Dr. Oetker is a brand that makes food stuff like cake mix)

Dude, you don’t have health insurance. Leave/Fuck off you freeloader!

Wecome to the psychiatric institute Hanover!

Here we have gothic women, that make even a male duck horny.

We also have board games! Chocolate-Bonobos (The real name is bonbon not bonobo which means candy) and radio broadcast recievers that play the best Schlager hit songs.

Schlager song plays

Goosebumps!

These are my friends!

Mario Kart (Mario Barth is a German “comedian”)

What does the XX chromosome say? I want to buy shoes!

And the one shy girl with the manga. My little Duckling! Damn

Always remember, there is help for you out there!

Stares at mirror

Spiegel TV (Spiegel is a german news magazine, the name means mirror)

Guess where I laid a Surprise Egg (Chocolate egg with a toy inside)

THE DUCK DOES NOT HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE! I CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH THE “AMPEL” ANYMORE! (Ampel = traffic light, it’s the name of the coalition government consisting of Social democrats (red), Free Democrats (yellow) and the Green Party)

In Japanese a thermos bottle is called 魔法瓶/Mahoubin, which literally translated means magic bottle.

I am really confused about this meme template, didn’t its usage used to be satirical (not sure if that’s the right word)? I remember seeing ones like “Nobody ever needed maths”, but recently I am seeing them inverted where the subject matter is actually criticised for being useless. Instead of claiming something useful to be useless. Can someone explain? when did the usage shift?

I didn’t even know this existed until a few years ago. The original version isn’t sold in my country, even though there are like 10 different varieties of Listerine available in stores.

According to an article I found they are just beds made from card board to be more environmentally friendly, cause after the event they won’t be needed anymore.

The reasons for insertion in decreasing order of frequency are autoeroticism, concealment, attention-seeking behavior, “accidental,” assault, and to alleviate constipation.

I love how they put accidental in quotes.