• 6 Posts
  • 409 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: July 2nd, 2023
  • Cabrio@lemmy.worldtoShowerthoughts@lemmy.world•We should rename Solar to Patriot Power to make it palatable to the right
    17·
    2 years ago

    You mean “Gun Manufacturing” (Mechanical Engineering), “Bunker Building” (Civil Engineering), “Things Hitting Things” (Physics), “Explosives, Toxins, and Poisons” (Industrial Chemistry), “DIY Alternative Medicine” (Pharmaceutical Chemistry), “Owning the Libs” (Law), “Ripping off the IRS” (Taxation and Accounting), “How to be Offensive” (Language theory, reading/writing comprehension), “How to win at Gambling” (Mathematics, Statistics) “Why Libs Think Like Pussies” (Philosophy), “War” (Geography, Geo-politics, International Studies).

  • Cabrio@lemmy.worldtoMicroblog Memes@lemmy.world•Gimme some of that Bay Leaf confidenceEnglish
    71·
    2 years ago

    English in the Future - Steven Gearhart

    Directors at Daimler Benz and Chrysler have announced an agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was another possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and have accepted a five-year phase-in plan. In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but komputers have one less letter.

    There will be growing kompany enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 persent shorter.

    In the third year, DaimlerKhrysler akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.

    DaimlerKhrysler will enkourage the removal of double letters, whish have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”'s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” by “v”.

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be droped from vords kontaining “o”, and similar shanges vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and employes vil find it ezi to kommunikat viz eash ozer.

    Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to us zis for all busines komunikation via DaimlerKhrysler.

    Ze drem vil finali kum tru.