yup

What’s especially funny is that he didn’t even script that, he just came up with it on the spot. And now it’s the joke he’s most known for.

Trade in their PCs to who? Fucking Aquaman?

Units

It depends on what you’re ordering. The bean-heavy items are typically the ones that’ll wreck you.

Or the cartridge before the console

Or Eat the Rich by Aerosmith

He’s an ally cat [canned laughter]

The war on drugs is bullshit, but the fact is that the US government still considers it a schedule 1 drug. My point is that they shouldn’t be able to tax it while still pretending that it should be illegal.

And a tax on cannabis sales would fund these farms, he proposed.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but… is he really suggesting a federal tax on a federally illegal substance?

Donald Trump and promising people money you’ll never actually pay out.

You mean her Chamber of Secrets?

Confirmed fake, unfortunately:

Update: It’s since been confirmed that the profile attributed to John Carpenter is fake. We’ll keep this post live to avoid 404 errors. Sadly, the posts outlined below really are too good to be true, and weren’t written by the horror maestro himself.

Aphantasia, motherfucker

Sandals and socks!