Hi
Girls, Im not doing great. Ive been out of a relationship for a nearly 4 months. Not long but the tail end of the relationship looked very much more like a friendship with no affection. We decided to just be friends, and that has worked out quite well.
However I really need a long long hug. I dealt with a lot of loneliness like this before my relationship, and honestly the only thing I could think of was how cool it would be to just get hugged. No sex, no kisses. Just a hug.
A lot of the methods like plushies and stuff do work a little, but it maybe fills 10% of what I need.
I worry about this, since it pulls me towards looking for a relationship when I know I am not ready. It was like that last time tbh, and I was just lucky to find someone so nice. Im worried I wouldnt this time but because im so lonely and touch starved i would just deal with it.
I wish I could ask my friends not just for a hug, but like a full on cuddle. But theyre either in relationships so that would be considered cheating, or they would consider my request as me being interested romantically.
Sorry for another negative post. Most days arent great atm. Its hard to not spiral all the time. Yesterday was ok, it was nice seeing people comment on my outfit being cute. It was nice to feel comfortable in my body.
Ill try to be more positive.
Thanks for reading.
-Minty
I give my fiends a hug every time I see them. When I go visit my lesbian friends I hug the friend I’m closer with when I first see her, and then go to their bedroom where the other is usually at and offer her a hug too, which she generally gladly accepts
Lots of people also cuddle with friends. It just kinda depends on the friends and how different people approach friendship
I go to social events in the kink community (really just a bunch of nerdy queer neurodivergent folks standing around and chatting about nerdy gay shit), and I offer literally everyone I see a hug lol, whether I know them or not. My standard greeting is “it’s nice to meet you! Do you do hugs?” And then generally they say yes and I give them a hug :))
Hugs are 100% platonic for a looot of people. And in my experience they’re platonic for the overwhelming majority of queer folks, at least that I’ve interacted with
thats so great :)
my kinda vibe
I did notice some hugging happen at the queer bar I went to
yeah that’s real, especially if the person you just met, you’ve seen them on social media and they’ve posted cuddlebait and/or porn already, it makes it easier to ask for hugs.
people who are sluts on mastodon are the best
that reminds me, i gotta set up my mastodon profile …
For me that makes it weirdly harder, I don’t wanna be presumptuous just cause they chose to share something intimate publicly.
I just offer them to litterally everyone lmao
so true, some pornographers who post content publicly are not open to bring touched in person due to being taken in a relationship or other reasons
Chiming in to confirm the hell out of this ^ and more!
Obviously every community has its individual style/tastes/etc, but in my extensive experience when you get a bunch of people together who are practiced/invested in negotiation it creates a wonderful sense of safety.
I havent been out in quite some time, but a few years ago cuddle piles werent uncommon! Piling together like cats is deeply fulfilling sensory input - just as fulfilling as bondage, impact, etc. types of play you expect to see there.
cuddle piles are fun indeed!
there’s a hackspace near me which hosts weekly queer meetups, and every time the couch circle ends up turning into a big pile of nerds and blahajs cuddling and yapping about nerdy computer stuff. highlight of my week :3
That sounds absolutely glorious! 😍✨