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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/johnbaillieol on 2023-07-18 13:26:41.

Okay so this actually happened yesterday, but I’ve only just mentally recovered enough to speak about it.

So it was a sunny day, and in my flat the only place the sun really hits is the window facing onto the roof and the street below. I decided, obviously, to sit on my windowsill with the window wide open and get some sunbathing in. I don’t spend that long on the windowsill because I get hungry and I decide to go back in, swinging my legs round back into my living room. Somehow I manage to knock my phone off the edge with my hand, and it goes fucking flying further onto the roof - my flat is on the top floor and the roof slants for a bit and then is just kinda flat, so it’s not the most dangerous roof out there. Obviously I’m not just gonna leave my phone out there, cause what if it rains, like I need my phone man. Anyway, I go and get it by scooting over to it really slowly, so I don’t trip and fall off the edge. I’m being so safe about it, surely nothing could go wrong.

Well, as I get out from under the window, which opens upwards, I must’ve knocked it, and it fucking flies shut. Not fully, but it closes the latch which you need to push up to open it. My jaw has never dropped so fast in my life, because of fucking course this happens to me. Of course this happens when all of my flatmates are out of town. I panic a little, but I’m like “I just need to push up the latch from below, it’ll be fine.” I find some kinda metal bar further on the roof, because this building is falling apart, seconds away from just straight up disintegrating. I manage to slip my hand through the tiny gap in the side and try with all my strength to push the latch up. When I tell you I was sat for like 20 minutes trying to push this latch up I am not joking. My hand and arm is all scratched up because of it.

Well, I get nowhere with that metal bar, so I decide to call my friend, who has a lot more common sense than me. They tell me to call 999, so I do. I’m already embarrassed because I’ve been stuck on this fucking roof for long enough already, and now I have to tell the authorities how I managed to get stuck on the roof like a dumbass.

They come 5 minutes later, sirens and all, and they call me again. I scoot closer to the edge and wave down at them, and on the phone I tell them I can just chuck my keys down to them so we don’t have to shut down the entire road to get me down. Nope.

They put up fucking safety tape, and they start fucking maneuvering the cherrypicker (cool name icl) to come get me. I’m actually considering just jumping off at this point I’m so embarrassed. Not only have I done the dumbest thing imaginable and locked myself on the roof, literally everyone in the entire city has come to see what the fuck is happening. Like there is a crowd waiting outside the tape just watching me.

I get on the cherrypicker and I get down which is actually quite cool that I got to go on that, if I wasn’t so humiliated I would’ve enjoyed it ngl.

After I got down I was so set to run back into my flat and just never leave it again, but of course the police have to ask me if I’m suicidal, so I have to tell them “no I’m just a complete fucking moron”. They probably agreed with me honestly, I wouldn’t blame them.

Anyway, I obviously told everyone in my life about this because it’s kinda fucking hilarious now that I think about it. I don’t think my parents are very proud of me anymore, but whatever they raised me like this so it’s kinda their fault…

TLDR: got stuck on the roof on the busiest street in my city, and the fire department had to save me.