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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/ThePinkTeenager on 2023-07-17 23:09:01.

This actually did happen today.

So I have a cat that I trained to wear a leash. The problem is that she’s not supposed to go outside, so that was kind of pointless. Then I thought “I could take her to Petco”. So that was the plan. It was not the outcome.

Problem #1 was that she refused to get into her carrier. No matter what I tried, she got out. So I was like, “okay, fine; I’ll just carry you to the bus stop.” I forgot that the bus stop is a half mile away. It turns out that it is not possible to carry a cat that far. We almost got there when I realized that I’d gotten the bus schedule wrong. Oops. I decided to just go home.

This is where things get really crazy. Because apparently the cat was hot and/or wanted to become a forest creature. She went into the woods and, since she was leashed, I went with her. It was like the dog walking owner joke, but with a cat. And naturally, she went into places where I couldn’t easily catch her. Basically, I’d follow her, pick her up, carry her for a bit, then she’d jump down and repeat. And no, she was not going home. At one point, she went onto somebody’s porch and I wondered what I would say if the neighbors came out. Luckily, they didn’t. Another neighbor saw the whole ordeal and was fairly sympathetic. When we finally got to my yard, she darted and I lost the leash. Then I found her scratching the door and let her in. Then she lay on the floor and panted and if I were a cat, I’d do the same. Now she’s pretending that nothing happened.

TL;DR I wanted to carry my cat to the bus. Cat wanted to walk me. Cat won.