Assume an unlimited budget for now, I just want to know what’s out there.
My current setup is cobbled together from random parts and the HDDs are loud in my bedroom. I want all SSD storage (at least 4x) but with enough CPU/Ram to handle a lot of apps/VMs and some more demanding tasks.
The only other criteria is that I would prefer it to be as small as possible (not rack mount).


Yeah, that’s not going to work. You’ll have to at least rank your requirements. Is size more important, or is it the number of RAM slots? Also, what is “enough CPU/Ram”?
Also also, “unlimited” will only get you unrealistic things like the 10k+ PCI-E SSDs.