When I was younger, I always heard that “true gentleman” value and don’t fear commitment. I also heard a lot of girls I used to be friends with complain about how their ex-boyfriends didn’t like commitment and how they shouldn’t have dated in the first place then. Now that I’ve gone out into the dating world, I can confirm several of my breakups were caused by the person fearing commitment.
Some were just the person was an asshole, some were that they lost feelings mid-relationship, and if it wasn’t either two, they were just plain afraid of commitment. But what makes people afraid to commit? What are some of the reasons anyway, or your reasons if you fear or feared commitment?
My ex “C” said our relationship wasn’t “real” and didn’t mean anything, and that she liked me but wasn’t looking for a long-term commitment. She also essentially wanted to be FWB (friends with benefits) but later said she didn’t want to and we were just friends and that we never actually had a relationship.
Anyone who is not cautious in choosing a partner for the next 60 or 70 years is nuts. This is probably the most important decision you will ever make. We are almost 30 years in and it is great but it was not easy to find someone. Not sure it is comittment exactly. More finding someone that wants a long term partner and that you both like each other and can stand each other over the long run and are heading in a similar direction in this complex world. Lot of people do not seem to know the difference between lust and love too.