What’s important to understand is that Depression isn’t “sadness”. It a dead feeling.
It’s not a dead feeling because of anything particularly bad happening. But it is a dead feeling that isn’t fixed by pills. But pills are, in some cases, a requirement for even being able to start trying to fix yourself.
Your brain has two positive reinforcement tools, Seratonin and Dopamine. Both of those work together. Dopamine affects how we respond to things, both good and bad. Seratonin affects mood, motivation, energy levels.
So when we say that “Depression isn’t sadness”, for example, we mean that we lack the dopamine to even think about things in terms of good or bad. They just…don’t…matter.
That leads to a kind of spiral. Things kind of fall apart when they just don’t matter to you. And as things fall apart, you start to feel like a failure and a piece of shit because things are spiraling, which just adds to the lack of dopamine and it keeps going down and down and down until you’re body is quite literally just not capable of producing those two chemicals naturally. They kind of forget how.
As cliche as it sounds, both Seratonin and Dopamine are boosted by “thinking good thoughts”. And I know that that sounds like bullshit, but it’s true. That’s why the fix (there is no cure) for depression is C.B.T (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). It’s things like, keeping a negative thought challenge notebook, where whenever you have a negative thought, you write it down and you challenge it; actively asking yourself why you think that. If something good happens, but you always think “Oh this isn’t going to last”, you ask yourself things like “why do I think that?” and “What are the other possible outcomes”. Or writing down “three good things that happened to you that day”, for example. Cheesy things that your depressed and negative mind is likely to dismiss as “hippie bullshit”, but they work.
CBT is also about making habits. As things fall apart, as things don’t matter, dishes might not get done. Lawns may not get mowed. work might suffer because of lack of focus. And you wake up every morning and all of those things not being done, just make you feel like more of a piece of shit and drop the spiral further. And so you say “Okay…I’m never going to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. I’m going to walk my dog every morning. etc…” Small things. All of those things slowly but surely start to build the Seratonin back in your system, and the Dopamine starts regulating properly again. Thinking good thoughts, having a sense of pride and accomplishment, having fun…all of these things are what create your Seratonin and Dopamine.
But the kicker is, that when things have *not mattered" for such a long time. When you’ve lacked any of those things for such a long time, even starting to practice CBT sounds like utter bullshit. It’s cheesy at best. Worthless and pointless at worst. And so the drugs are there to act as sort of a tow truck that you call in to give your battery a boost so that you even have the motivation to start down the path of actually “battling”.
This Blog Post is what finally made me realize that I was indeed depressed, after denying it for many many years. I consider it a must read, not only for people to understand depression, but to understand me.
CBT is one treatment for depression - and you should stick with whatever’s helpful for you - but it’s not THE treatment. In the last couple decades there’s been a trend towards more flexible and integrative models like ACT and IFS. These models suggest that our efforts to avoid “bad” thoughts and feelings actually causes more suffering and keeps us stuck. Integrative models focus on allowing those things to exist, or even welcoming them in.
What’s important to understand is that Depression isn’t “sadness”. It a dead feeling.
It’s not a dead feeling because of anything particularly bad happening. But it is a dead feeling that isn’t fixed by pills. But pills are, in some cases, a requirement for even being able to start trying to fix yourself.
Your brain has two positive reinforcement tools, Seratonin and Dopamine. Both of those work together. Dopamine affects how we respond to things, both good and bad. Seratonin affects mood, motivation, energy levels.
So when we say that “Depression isn’t sadness”, for example, we mean that we lack the dopamine to even think about things in terms of good or bad. They just…don’t…matter.
That leads to a kind of spiral. Things kind of fall apart when they just don’t matter to you. And as things fall apart, you start to feel like a failure and a piece of shit because things are spiraling, which just adds to the lack of dopamine and it keeps going down and down and down until you’re body is quite literally just not capable of producing those two chemicals naturally. They kind of forget how.
As cliche as it sounds, both Seratonin and Dopamine are boosted by “thinking good thoughts”. And I know that that sounds like bullshit, but it’s true. That’s why the fix (there is no cure) for depression is C.B.T (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). It’s things like, keeping a negative thought challenge notebook, where whenever you have a negative thought, you write it down and you challenge it; actively asking yourself why you think that. If something good happens, but you always think “Oh this isn’t going to last”, you ask yourself things like “why do I think that?” and “What are the other possible outcomes”. Or writing down “three good things that happened to you that day”, for example. Cheesy things that your depressed and negative mind is likely to dismiss as “hippie bullshit”, but they work.
CBT is also about making habits. As things fall apart, as things don’t matter, dishes might not get done. Lawns may not get mowed. work might suffer because of lack of focus. And you wake up every morning and all of those things not being done, just make you feel like more of a piece of shit and drop the spiral further. And so you say “Okay…I’m never going to go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. I’m going to walk my dog every morning. etc…” Small things. All of those things slowly but surely start to build the Seratonin back in your system, and the Dopamine starts regulating properly again. Thinking good thoughts, having a sense of pride and accomplishment, having fun…all of these things are what create your Seratonin and Dopamine.
But the kicker is, that when things have *not mattered" for such a long time. When you’ve lacked any of those things for such a long time, even starting to practice CBT sounds like utter bullshit. It’s cheesy at best. Worthless and pointless at worst. And so the drugs are there to act as sort of a tow truck that you call in to give your battery a boost so that you even have the motivation to start down the path of actually “battling”.
This Blog Post is what finally made me realize that I was indeed depressed, after denying it for many many years. I consider it a must read, not only for people to understand depression, but to understand me.
https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
CBT is one treatment for depression - and you should stick with whatever’s helpful for you - but it’s not THE treatment. In the last couple decades there’s been a trend towards more flexible and integrative models like ACT and IFS. These models suggest that our efforts to avoid “bad” thoughts and feelings actually causes more suffering and keeps us stuck. Integrative models focus on allowing those things to exist, or even welcoming them in.