Kids don’t “scream JUST to annoy you”. If you think that you might be the parent people are complaining about.
Kids are gonna be kids sometimes mate. But they are people not. They aren’t doing something “just to annoy you”. They have reasons they act the way they do. And it’s always because of who raised them.
My point was about actually being a parent and being able to raise a child with mutual respect. It’s obviously not just “stop screaming”.
The biggest thing is teaching your child that screaming does not get them positive results. Lots of parents have a really hard time transitioning from raising an infant, to raising a toddler, to raising a kid.
By the time they are a teenager they are still whining like an infant to get what they want.
I heard a kid screaming in public a couple weeks ago. I swear to God it sounded like a toddler having a tantrum. I look over and it’s literally a kid at least 10 years old. It blew my mind. The parents where treating him like an infant trying to find out what he wanted.
Yeah, part of it is to teach that they won’t get their way by annoying you into giving in. Helps in my case that I can be a stubborn fuck, too. It means I have to choose my battles because I don’t want to back myself into a situation where I make a choice, realize it’s not the best one, but feel like I have to stand my ground to combat whining. Luckily we’re past the point of tantrums and she’s old enough that I can explain my reasoning in cases where I say one thing at first but then later change my mind.
But there’s two other parts imo. One is teaching them the right way to express what they want (as well as when stating what they want might be rude or out of line, like if it’s in response to getting a gift that isn’t their top choice). And the other is being open and honest about the why. I only use “because I said so” or some equivalent to deal with the endless chain of "why?"s (though I’ve found deflecting it back at her is also effective, like “why do you think it is?”).
I agree much of this comes down to parenting. I’m right with you on the passive parenting. It’s introducing unnecessary problems upon the child and society.
That said random kids we see could also have learning disabilities that aren’t apparent at first.
My nephew is on autistic spectrum and does tantrums at 12 all because plans change (part of life but he’s still struggling with that despite consistency). He doesn’t appear at first as any different from any teenager until he’s triggered.
It’s not appropriate. We always remind him to speak respectfully. He has a younger sister who is way more adjusted by comparison (has normal tween struggles) but she’s not as neurodivergent. Basic parenting advice on behavior is working for her.
Though it can be a struggle to talk a child out of this when it’s beyond just understanding. Learning to cope is just taking longer for this teen. Possibly aging into medication and long term therapy.
It took that for my other niece on a different spectrum who’s still finding the right medication and adjusting.
Just something to consider when judging random ppl.
Well given the equal up and down votes on your comment I think your reply can clearly be interpreted as disagreement. Also, saying kids “scream just to annoy you” is ignorant.
Don’t make an unclear ignorant comment and expect people to take it in good faith.
If you make adversarial choices, your kids will definitely scream to annoy you. You took it as me saying that kids “only” scream to annoy, which is obviously not true.
So yes, I was on the internet assuming that people argue in good faith and try to have a good time … I mean yeah, I guess I should have seen that one coming.
Your comment used the word “just” which in that sentence literally means “only”. You could have cleared up the misunderstanding. But your short comment was ignorant sounding. It’s why it got down voted mate.
Try telling your kids not to scream.
… and watch them screaming even more just to annoy you.
/woosh
Kids don’t “scream JUST to annoy you”. If you think that you might be the parent people are complaining about.
Kids are gonna be kids sometimes mate. But they are people not. They aren’t doing something “just to annoy you”. They have reasons they act the way they do. And it’s always because of who raised them.
My point was about actually being a parent and being able to raise a child with mutual respect. It’s obviously not just “stop screaming”.
The biggest thing is teaching your child that screaming does not get them positive results. Lots of parents have a really hard time transitioning from raising an infant, to raising a toddler, to raising a kid.
By the time they are a teenager they are still whining like an infant to get what they want.
I heard a kid screaming in public a couple weeks ago. I swear to God it sounded like a toddler having a tantrum. I look over and it’s literally a kid at least 10 years old. It blew my mind. The parents where treating him like an infant trying to find out what he wanted.
Yeah, part of it is to teach that they won’t get their way by annoying you into giving in. Helps in my case that I can be a stubborn fuck, too. It means I have to choose my battles because I don’t want to back myself into a situation where I make a choice, realize it’s not the best one, but feel like I have to stand my ground to combat whining. Luckily we’re past the point of tantrums and she’s old enough that I can explain my reasoning in cases where I say one thing at first but then later change my mind.
But there’s two other parts imo. One is teaching them the right way to express what they want (as well as when stating what they want might be rude or out of line, like if it’s in response to getting a gift that isn’t their top choice). And the other is being open and honest about the why. I only use “because I said so” or some equivalent to deal with the endless chain of "why?"s (though I’ve found deflecting it back at her is also effective, like “why do you think it is?”).
I agree much of this comes down to parenting. I’m right with you on the passive parenting. It’s introducing unnecessary problems upon the child and society.
That said random kids we see could also have learning disabilities that aren’t apparent at first.
My nephew is on autistic spectrum and does tantrums at 12 all because plans change (part of life but he’s still struggling with that despite consistency). He doesn’t appear at first as any different from any teenager until he’s triggered. It’s not appropriate. We always remind him to speak respectfully. He has a younger sister who is way more adjusted by comparison (has normal tween struggles) but she’s not as neurodivergent. Basic parenting advice on behavior is working for her.
Though it can be a struggle to talk a child out of this when it’s beyond just understanding. Learning to cope is just taking longer for this teen. Possibly aging into medication and long term therapy. It took that for my other niece on a different spectrum who’s still finding the right medication and adjusting.
Just something to consider when judging random ppl.
Wow, I was actually agreeing with you here. Telling your kids to not scream does not work.
So yes, woosh apparently.
Well given the equal up and down votes on your comment I think your reply can clearly be interpreted as disagreement. Also, saying kids “scream just to annoy you” is ignorant.
Don’t make an unclear ignorant comment and expect people to take it in good faith.
If you make adversarial choices, your kids will definitely scream to annoy you. You took it as me saying that kids “only” scream to annoy, which is obviously not true.
So yes, I was on the internet assuming that people argue in good faith and try to have a good time … I mean yeah, I guess I should have seen that one coming.
I think I’m not cut out for this.
Your comment used the word “just” which in that sentence literally means “only”. You could have cleared up the misunderstanding. But your short comment was ignorant sounding. It’s why it got down voted mate.
It’s so fucking insane to me that the majority of Americans think beating your kids is acceptable and even healthy
Then You haven’t met Australians
Damn, I would think corporal punishment would be illegal in Australia of all places