Self-harm and crossdressing (what I called it back then) occasionally, after years eventually started dressing in a very non-binary way in public. Think legs unshaved but with a skirt. This got me a lot of attention in public. I live in a very progressive area luckily so I didn’t get attacked (physically, at least). I also masturbated a lot. Nothing helped until I started HRT, then I got better very quickly, mostly because I allowed myself to really be a woman.