I’ve watched the first 6 episodes of this show, imo everything past episode 4 is really vague and hard to understand. I’ve read that I shouldn’t expect to understand it on my first watch but if I’m not enjoying it my first time through I’m not gonna torture myself by rewatching something I dont like a bunch of times to understand it. It also makes me feel dumb for not appreciating something deep like this, especially since it’s something that you’re actually supposed to think about while watching it. Credit where credit is due, it is definitely one of the most unique anime I have seen.
I’ve dealt with depression before, I guess it’s the same way Dostoevsky doesn’t feel the same when I’m reading it with a completely lucid lense. I also take pride in understanding things others don’t, so that’s part of the reason why I don’t like that I don’t understand it. So far as the monitor goes, my mom gave me her old PC she used to use back in, iirc, the 90’s. I do have a matching keyboard for it, but she lost the mouse, I just hooked up the monitor to modern PC cuz I read it was the best way to watch it, along with a low quality recording of the show itself.