The really funny thing is that I’m in a heterosexual couple. My wife is bi, but the closest I tread to the rainbow is polyamory.

It’s not even a good insult!
Oooh. I’m going to associate you with a group that has shown incredible resilience and generally embodies such dastardly values as embracing their true selves, seeking or building community, respecting each other, valuing mental health and self care, and living in defiance of what is expected of them.
I’ve been given more insulting compliments.