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Hofmaimaier@feddit.de to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago

unzips...

feddit.de

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unzips...

feddit.de

Hofmaimaier@feddit.de to Memes@lemmy.ml · 2 years ago
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  • FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    I was a heroin addict and only jerked off like once a month for years (i.e. whenever I could get my hands on a couple adderall, i’d get my hands on something else). Now i’m clean and exercising and gaining weight and trying to be a human again, and I kinda started jerking off a bit more and I’ve realized just like with eating — the more I eat the more I feel the need to eat— the more I jerk it the more I find myself wanting to jerk it. Now I feel I’ve opened a degenerate can of worms.

    I kind of liked not being a slave to my monke brain… except then I was a slave to my junke brain. Someone just teach me how to live.

    • ArianaGrande@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I love masturbating. I think everyone should do it once a day.

      • Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 years ago

        Ok Ariane Grande 👍🏼

      • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net
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        2 years ago

        It has been shown than regular masturbation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

        So, everyone reading this comment, please masturbate regularly for your own health.

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          2 years ago

          I heard it activates your immune system too. Which explains why I’ve only been sick once in like 4 years.

      • Francis_Fujiwara@sh.itjust.works
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        2 years ago

        No.

        • photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 years ago

          Try masturbating every day

    • ______@lemm.ee
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      2 years ago

      Less serious vices >>>>>> serious vices. You’re not hurting anyone. If you really want help I’d suggest professional addiction therapists or something

      Imo it’s not a problem unless it routinely gets in the way of your goals or lifestyle.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      I wish you all the best and hope you’re doing better now, and I mean this with respect but it’s pretty fucking funny that the answer to “hmm maybe I jerk off too much” is “do horse”

    • jackpot@lemmy.ml
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      2 years ago

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

      • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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        2 years ago

        Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

        Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

        I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

        • GrievingWidow420@feddit.it
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          2 years ago

          If only it were a piped link

          • Turun@feddit.de
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            2 years ago

            It is. You can change the text of the link by using [text here](link here)

            • dblsaiko@discuss.tchncs.de
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              2 years ago

              Oh god, why does it do that, making the link text be a different valid link is very misleading

              • photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                2 years ago

                It takes the displayed text of whatever the link was (in this case a web address, further down is a comment with “of this” as the link text) and uses that as the piped link display text. Misleading, yes, but it’s due to an understandable issue. Maybe this should be a suggested change.

  • samus12345@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!”

    • thorbot@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I never thought I’d die like this, but is always sort of hoped!

    • Hofmaimaier@feddit.deOP
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      2 years ago

      deleted by creator

  • Annoyed_🦀 @monyet.cc
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    2 years ago

    Jokes on you, i’m too depressed to be horny.

  • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.ee
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    2 years ago

    You made me think of this.

    Fuck you, OP, I love you, go fuckin’ masturbate.

    • PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocksB
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      Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

      of this.

      Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

      I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

  • lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works
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    2 years ago

    The secret ingredient… is “love”?

    • CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You’ve named your hand “Love”?

      “Allright, Love, time to exercise”

  • DreamButt@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Those are rookie numbers

  • TheMemorius@postit.quantentoast.de
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    2 years ago

    Say hello to crippling porn addiction

  • ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml
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    2 years ago

    TMI

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