if i have any sort of interest in anything, be it a tv show, motivation for a project, a collection, etc. even if i only mention it once, i’m suddenly obsessed.

i should just give up if my plan involves many steps.

i’ve been treated badly by a “friend” for years but i’m still tempted to stay due to having a trauma bond i’m trying to break off. i mentioned once what they said to me (which is what they said in a previous post) and one of my family members said i was obsessed with them and to “just not be upset”, “why was i so insecure”, “i wasn’t abused”, etc.

i can’t mention anything to this person without him making a comment and then he asks why i don’t talk to him

  • Botanicals@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    12 days ago

    All due respect but your family sucks. I have a family who belittles my feelings and desires too and I’ve cut them out. You don’t have to cut them out completely, but definitely stop giving them power in your life. Research boundaries and ways to enforce them. This will also apply to your abusive friendship. Consider therapy and branching out for new friends (going to events and getting involved in your community is a great start). Best of luck!

  • JigglySackles@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    11 days ago

    Your family is a large part of the problem here. They are belittling you and gaslighting you. Set firm boundaries with them and if they won’t respect them, cut them out of your life. You seem to know you need to break things off with the friend. Just pull the band-aid off and stop worrying about keeping people in your life that aren’t treating you well. You can always find new and better people and I’d encourage you to try. Bond with people in a shared hobby, meet at gatherings, avoid bars and dating apps if you want anything meaningful, if you are religious churches can be a great community source but it varies a great deal on the quality of people you are getting involved with.

    Either way, it sounds like it’s time to move on based on what you have said here. It will take some strength of will to do it. But you cN do it and you’ll be better and happier for it. I don’t think it helps everyone, but therapy can be a great help if you can find a good therapist.