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coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 11 months ago

happy birthday solider

hexbear.net

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happy birthday solider

hexbear.net

coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish · 11 months ago
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  • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    I love these accounts. They’re set up to autogenerate a handful of templates. When one of the commenters is an actual human, they’re prime people-watching. This photo is of course its own genre for them:

    Sitting in traffic with Rebecca Black celebrating her 25th birthday. - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=448024838162815&set=a.318863487745618&type=3&_rdr

    Same thing but both legs are amputated and cars are imminently about to hit them: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448016328163666&set=a.318863487745618

    Two soldiers celebrating one’s 25th birthday while sitting in traffic. Both are double amputees: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448016164830349&set=a.318863487745618

    Two soldiers celebrating one’s 25th birthday while sitting in traffic. One is a double amputee, the other is uninjured: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448008561497776&set=a.318863487745618

    A double amputee soldier and a woman in an American flag bodysuit celebrating her 25th birthday on an even busier motorway: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448008244831141&set=a.318863487745618

    A street urchin and a wizard celebrating the wizard’s birthday, age unknown legs intact, next to a road: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=448005938164705&set=a.318863487745618

    Two old Sikh men, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a motorway: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997871498845&set=a.318863487745618

    A wizard and old Tim Pool, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a road with a robust metro system: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997281498904&set=a.318863487745618

    Tom Hanks in Castaway and a garden gnome, ages unknown legs intact, celebrating both of their birthdays on a road with no visible mass transit: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447997218165577&set=a.318863487745618

    A single amputee soldier crying in a missile silo while holding a sign that says “TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY NO ONE LOVE BECAUSE AM POOR”: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447629144869051&set=a.318863487745618

    A double amputee soldier crying in a missile silo in the forest while holding a sign that says “TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY NO ONE LOVES BECAUSE I AM POOR”: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447588771539755&set=a.318863487745618

    A double amputee soldier with Terminator prosthetics in a missile silo in the mountains holding a giant computer chip next to a placard that says “TODAY IS MS BIRTHDAY NO OONE LOVE LOVE BECAUSE I AM POOR”: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447585464873419&set=a.318863487745618

    A double amputee soldier being ignored by his entire family while holding a sign that says TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY "NO ONE LOVES ME BECAUSE (I’M POOR): https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450442697921029&set=a.318863487745618

    Three soldiers in a bunker, one taking COVID precautions, surrounded by eggs/yarn/succulents/old cameras/jars of honey: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450328801265752&set=a.318863487745618

    A whole series of mashups with Jesus and female pilots: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450160244615941&set=a.318863487745618

    One where it’s a wizard pilot and a female pilot: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450097667955532&set=a.318863487745618

    A demon and an angel watching a child browse the internet but the child agrees with the demon: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450084117956887&set=a.318863487745618

    Jesus with “AMEN SKIP” written on his halo along with a female pilot surrounded by construction machinery and crashing planes: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=450079801290652&set=a.318863487745618

    • Torenico [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      A double amputee soldier with Terminator prosthetics in a missile silo in the mountains holding a giant computer chip next to a placard that says “TODAY IS MS BIRTHDAY NO OONE LOVE LOVE BECAUSE I AM POOR”: https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=447585464873419&set=a.318863487745618

      New fear unlocked: whatever the fuck is happening in his left leg.

      • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        One hell of a pressure ulcer. His hyper-advanced terminator leg is poorly fitted which says a lot about the quality of healthcare at the future VA.

    • coeliacmccarthy [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      11 months ago

      this is the only shit that can still put a smile on my face

    • Darthsenio_Mall [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Fascinating stuff

    • GladimirLenin [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      I lost both my legs posing for birthday photos in the middle of a freeway.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      I’d want to say only facebook grandmas fall for shit like this but some of the comments are like damn you’re under 80 and you think this is real?

      • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        The organic interactions are so weird. It’s like Elsagate for adults. They see Jesus or a soldier and they clap because they know that guy.

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          Just like we got kids hooked on pregnant spider-man elsagate softcore porno we can get facebook grandmas addicted to the sweet tit of AI when we give them the ipad to keep them busy.

    • BobDole [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      SKIP sicko-satan

      • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        angel-biblical À̴̖͍͇̜̈̋͋͘͘͜͠M̴̨̨̡̙̥̠̠̌̎̔̉̕Ë̷̙́̽̔̃̒̏N̷̟͈͈̈͛̈́A̸̟͕͉̥͙̯̬̠͇̿̏̏͒̔̓́̌̅M̴̨̙̲̼̃Ė̷̛̖͉̣͗̆͊̿̒̈́̽N̷͎͎̄̅̓Ä̷̡͓̬͎̩͔͈͖̞́̾͊̃͒̌͝M̷̮̱͕̠̞̗͗͜͜Ê̷̺̬̮̽̒́̕N̶͎͕̹̔͛̍͐͊͜Ȧ̴̰̻̮̹̜̃̆̀̎͐̾̈́M̴̰͗̐̓͛͗́͗͝Ę̶̡͔̩̣̩͎̦̙͑N̴̫̰̙̹̞͕͖̐A̸͎̖̬̽̀́̏̒̓͐M̵̢̯̪̟̭͓͛͜ͅE̵͍̎̿̈́́̽̂̒̽͗̉N̴̡͕̯̄̒͗͑̓̍͐̈̕A̸̯̘̫̥̞̲̝̿̆͛͂̎M̴̫͙̹͖͙̫͇̠͊͒̈́͐̓́̊̑͘͝E̶̗͋̓͋̾̀̑͒̀N̵͉̺̤͓͔̊͊̈́̇̍̕͘͠Å̵͍̳̱͝M̵̧͚͈̩̟̗̾̌

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      I wish I had a Facebook account so I could see some of those.

      • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        Most of them are sequential if you can click on the first one or google Babies adorable facebook Happy birthday solider. I don’t have an account, used that search string, and was able to view the posts on my desktop.

        • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          For me “happy birthday solider” via google images had this URL structure vvv

          https://www.facebook.com/100090465305975/posts/413811894977651/

          It’s a soft paywall.

          All the links in this thread are the hard paywalled because they are like this vvv

          https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=NUMBER&set=a.NUMBER&type=3&_rdr

          Most of them are sequential

          I don’t know what that means.

          • happybadger [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            11 months ago

            By sequential I mean that if you can click any of them, the others are at most a few posts before or after it. I reuploaded them to this album: https://imgur.com/a/gNcpdPn

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