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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: February 21st, 2026

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  • crwth@piefed.ziptoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    6 days ago

    I’ve answered a jury duty summons, but never even got to voir dire.

    1. Get summoned by mail.
    2. Check website or call ahead to see if you need to show up.
    3. I check website. It’s owned by domain squatters.
    4. I call number, recording says go to courthouse tomorrow morning.
    5. Take bus because I don’t want to deal with downtown parking.
    6. Check in to juror waiting room. Get jury number. It’s high.
    7. Can we validate your parking? No but you could reimburse me a dollar for bus fare.
    8. LOL. We don’t do that. The bus. LOL.
    9. I tell clerk about their website. They know. They lost it last year. (But still direct unsuspecting citizens to it?)
    10. Okay everybody. We have enough jurors and the rest of y’all can go home now.

  • A philosophy major explained to me that studying philosophy isn’t really as useless as it seems. That’s because whenever philosophers start to understand what they’re doing, they stop calling it philosophy and branch into real scientists. He said it’s unfair to judge the value of philosophy by the useless proto-sciences currently under study, but to consider the whole history of philosophy which includes every other field of study one can get a PhD in.






  • I know a couple of math tricks you can do with playing cards.

    • Give an audience member a pre-sorted deck of cards. Remove any card. Riffle shuffle the deck 3 times (4 if you’re bold). Return the removed card to a random position in the deck. Magician examines the deck and identifies the card.

    • Audience member selects any 5 cards and hands them the the magician’s beautiful assistant. Assistant examines these cards, and reveals 4 of them, one at a time, to the magician. Magician predicts the 5th card.









  • I flooded a dormitory once, but I blame building maintenance for tricking me into it.

    I wake up and head to the bathroom. Turn on the shower, nothing happens. Try the sink, still no water. No advance notice to the residents, but the water must have been shut off for some reason. I have a class to go to, so I turn everything “off”, get dressed, and leave. I’d forgotten that one of the sink knobs was threaded the opposite way from the standard convention, so that one was full on when the water was restored. Came back to the dorm after lunch and realized exactly what I’d done as soon as I entered the hallway and saw the maintenance man running his shop-vac outside my room. It overflowed the sink drain, and the bathroom floor drain, flowed through the dorm room, and was in the process of flooding the hallway.


  • crwth@piefed.ziptoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    5 months ago

    I’m not at all sure it even is murder, even if she deliberately withheld medical care. I’ve seen advance directives from people who would refuse care in similar circumstances, and it’s not a crime for a wife to honor such a wish. Maybe you could get her on lying to the police about it, or for a lesser crime of medical neglect, but not murder.

    If you really want it to be a prosecutable murder, find her fingerprints on a bottle of the virus she poisoned him with. Take a blood sample to test for antiviral treatments she took to prevent accidently infecting herself. Maybe find her impatient boyfriend who didn’t want to wait for a divorce.