While i like this sentiment, I’d feel like a bad caricature of who I want to be. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy, tbh.

(Impostor syndrome, maybe? Not sure how to healthily overcome this. When I had that for my proffession I basically burnt out due to the amount of tasks I took on and the meager results and not great feedback I got. Basically had a mental breakdown for about 6 months before I felt okay-ish again. Sure, it cured my impostor syndrome by giving me a [healthy?] dose of apathy and I am willing to fight for my standpoints now and can shrug it off better if someone disagrees without feeling like a fraud. But that is definitely a road I do not want to take again.)