yesterday I was wondering how 60 year old Deen Cane got a job with ICE.

Asked n answered.

It shouldn’t be that hard for them to find 10,000 jackasses.

cross-posted from: https://ibbit.at/post/21406

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is apparently so desperate for staff that they are abolishing the agency’s age restrictions to allow any adult to apply to join the force.

On Wednesday, ICE announced that it would do away with its prior requirements that job applicants be at least 21 years old, no older than 37 to be considered for a criminal investigator role, and no older than 40 to be eligible to be a deportation officer, with few exceptions.

“In the wake of Biden’s open borders disaster, our country needs dedicated Americans to join ICE to remove the worst of the worst out of our country,” the agency’s announcement reads, under an Uncle Sam recruitment photo. In a social media post touting the change, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) wrote: “We’re taking father/son bonding to a whole new level,” alongside an illustration of both a younger and older man in camouflage tactical gear.

Recruits will still need to be at least 18 and go through medical and drug tests, and complete a physical fitness test. The Wednesday announcement also reiterated a slate of perks available to new ICE employees, including a signing bonus of up to $50,000, student loan repayment and forgiveness options, and “enhanced retirement benefits” after the passage of Trump’s so-called Big Beautiful Bill. The legislation allocated funding to hire 10,000 new ICE agents to join the 20,000 currently on staff to help meet the agency’s deportation goals.

The move to eliminate the age restriction comes as the Trump administration scrambles to fulfill his campaign promise to carry outmass deportations—specifically, a goal of one million deportations per year, according to an April report in the Washington Post. So far, the administration appears to have fallen far below that goal: Since February, the administration has deported an average of about 14,700 people per month, according to an NBC News report published last month. The administration’s efforts to bolster those numbers have included reviving old cases focused on immigrants who have since become citizens or died.

But reports suggest the sky-high deportation quota, coupled with the administration’s general inhumanity when it comes to the treatment of immigrants, has left morale within the agency plummeting. And while DHS Secretary Kristi Noem boasts about a recent surge in applications, related moves within ICE, including the agency reportedly forcibly poaching employees from across the federal government and other law enforcement agencies, appear to contradict those claims. The American Prospect reported on Wednesday, for example, that probationary Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) employees—those with under a year of service—were being reassigned to ICE or threatened with losing their jobs if they did not accept. A DHS spokesperson told the Prospect that the FEMA employees were being temporarily moved to work with ICE for 90 days, “to assist with hiring and vetting,” and claimed that the moves “will NOT disrupt FEMA’s critical operations.”

So will the elimination of the age limit make any difference? Time will tell, though Trump’s prior promises of a massive hiring spree for ICE and Border Patrol agents during his first term did not come to fruition. So far, though, the change has led to at least one newrecruit: 59-year-old former Superman actor Dean Cain.


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  • KnilAdlez [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    24 days ago

    What if a bunch of people sign up, then just don’t do anything?

    Edit: don’t actually do this. But if you do, do it with a bunch of people so that you can all defend each other if the fascists get violent.

    • godlessworm [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      24 days ago

      oops one of the inmates took my gun and managed to kill all my fellow guards and open all the cells. they only left me alive to tell the story as they did it at midnight when the camera stops recording for 1-3 minutes

    • Carl [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      24 days ago

      I can’t shake the thought of doing this, but I’ve come up with some reasons why at the end of the day I think it’s a bad idea:

      • if you’re lucky they’ll just run your background check and the NSA database will tell them that you’re connected with a bunch of left wing shit and they’ll turn you away
      • if you’re unlucky being surrounded by chuds will make you do chud shit and the cognitive dissonance will turn you into a fascist
      • if you manage to avoid that and actually sabotage something you’ll probably be immediately busted and thrown in prison while making no meaningful impact

      not worth the risk imo, better to join a different org that’s doing some other kind of disruption, unless said different org plans some kind of group action then maybe

      • Castor_Troy [comrade/them,he/him]@hexbear.net
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        24 days ago

        if you manage to avoid that and actually sabotage something you’ll probably be immediately busted and thrown in prison while making no meaningful impact

        100% this. Sabotaging work for the federal government obviously has severe consequences. And in this scenario, you’d be a lone wolf, so there’s basically no chance you get away with anything meaningful.

  • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    24 days ago

    The “50k bonus” is stretched out over like 3-4 years and it’s already only 40k and the salary is only about 50k so it’s just 60k salary for a few years followed by a massive pay cut. Oh boy!

    • hellinkilla [comrade/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      24 days ago

      man that fucking sucks. maybe it is really the intangibles.

      what are we thinking:

      1. forced prison labor (likely too volatile)

      2. DAs start cutting deals to swap prison time for ICE time

      3. workfare

      4. special work visas for international mercenaries

      5. pure ideological commitment

      6. are any religious organizations positioned to offer up people for service to God in this way?

      7. use massive surveillance network to blackmail people into participating

      Leaning towards #3-4.

      • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        23 days ago

        These and #8 below mean that they might fill their recruiting numbers, which would be horrifying, but there is a small silver lining, which is that it will be an extremely porous organization full of people who absolutely don’t want to be there and will want to try to wash away their own crimes by betraying their coworkers