yesterday I was wondering how 60 year old Deen Cane got a job with ICE.
Asked n answered.
It shouldn’t be that hard for them to find 10,000 jackasses.
cross-posted from: https://ibbit.at/post/21406
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is apparently so desperate for staff that they are abolishing the agency’s age restrictions to allow any adult to apply to join the force.
On Wednesday, ICE announced that it would do away with its prior requirements that job applicants be at least 21 years old, no older than 37 to be considered for a criminal investigator role, and no older than 40 to be eligible to be a deportation officer, with few exceptions.
“In the wake of Biden’s open borders disaster, our country needs dedicated Americans to join ICE to remove the worst of the worst out of our country,” the agency’s announcement reads, under an Uncle Sam recruitment photo. In a social media post touting the change, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) wrote: “We’re taking father/son bonding to a whole new level,” alongside an illustration of both a younger and older man in camouflage tactical gear.
Recruits will still need to be at least 18 and go through medical and drug tests, and complete a physical fitness test. The Wednesday announcement also reiterated a slate of perks available to new ICE employees, including a signing bonus of up to $50,000, student loan repayment and forgiveness options, and “enhanced retirement benefits” after the passage of Trump’s so-called Big Beautiful Bill. The legislation allocated funding to hire 10,000 new ICE agents to join the 20,000 currently on staff to help meet the agency’s deportation goals.
The move to eliminate the age restriction comes as the Trump administration scrambles to fulfill his campaign promise to carry outmass deportations—specifically, a goal of one million deportations per year, according to an April report in the Washington Post. So far, the administration appears to have fallen far below that goal: Since February, the administration has deported an average of about 14,700 people per month, according to an NBC News report published last month. The administration’s efforts to bolster those numbers have included reviving old cases focused on immigrants who have since become citizens or died.
But reports suggest the sky-high deportation quota, coupled with the administration’s general inhumanity when it comes to the treatment of immigrants, has left morale within the agency plummeting. And while DHS Secretary Kristi Noem boasts about a recent surge in applications, related moves within ICE, including the agency reportedly forcibly poaching employees from across the federal government and other law enforcement agencies, appear to contradict those claims. The American Prospect reported on Wednesday, for example, that probationary Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) employees—those with under a year of service—were being reassigned to ICE or threatened with losing their jobs if they did not accept. A DHS spokesperson told the Prospect that the FEMA employees were being temporarily moved to work with ICE for 90 days, “to assist with hiring and vetting,” and claimed that the moves “will NOT disrupt FEMA’s critical operations.”
So will the elimination of the age limit make any difference? Time will tell, though Trump’s prior promises of a massive hiring spree for ICE and Border Patrol agents during his first term did not come to fruition. So far, though, the change has led to at least one newrecruit: 59-year-old former Superman actor Dean Cain.
From Mother Jones via this RSS feed
What if a bunch of people sign up, then just don’t do anything?
Edit: don’t actually do this. But if you do, do it with a bunch of people so that you can all defend each other if the fascists get violent.
Wasn’t it people on Mike Bloomberg’s campaign that did this? Sign up and fuck off for a couple of months and collect the cash.
Going into work drunk and fucking up a bunch of paperwork does sound like something that I would excel at
Don’t forget to piss and/or shit somewhere fun
I say a lot of incindiery shit online. how thoroughly do you think they’re background checking applicants? 🤔
Volunteer no information and hopefully you’ve never posted a photo of yourself next to anything spicy attached to a non-burner email account and you’re gonna be fine.
really? they don’t look deeper than that? dude. 🤔 I think I could
They aren’t doing deep dives into every single post you’ve ever made. They’re doing, at best, a general surface level scan for things that would indicate you’re joining up to cause problems or having the “wrong” kind of worldviews or have something in your easy to find internet history that would cause some article in a paper to cause some embarrassment.
Yeah not really. I mean, you gotta think that every person that goes into the army ends up with a secret clearance.
there’s a 1 year probationary period… probably don’t get to fuck anything good up in that period
Look, if all I manage to do is leave an upper decker in their office on the day of the interview, I’ve already done more than any Democrat politician.
true true and we’d thank you for your service
It really is the time for some good people to do some good things. Easy access
I don’t think I could pretend to be a literal monster long enough to get through the training
I think the 18 year old discord mods that sign up will be plenty incompetent to fuck it up by themselves
oops one of the inmates took my gun and managed to kill all my fellow guards and open all the cells. they only left me alive to tell the story as they did it at midnight when the camera stops recording for 1-3 minutes
“Good trouble” gang, rise up!
I can’t shake the thought of doing this, but I’ve come up with some reasons why at the end of the day I think it’s a bad idea:
- if you’re lucky they’ll just run your background check and the NSA database will tell them that you’re connected with a bunch of left wing shit and they’ll turn you away
- if you’re unlucky being surrounded by chuds will make you do chud shit and the cognitive dissonance will turn you into a fascist
- if you manage to avoid that and actually sabotage something you’ll probably be immediately busted and thrown in prison while making no meaningful impact
not worth the risk imo, better to join a different org that’s doing some other kind of disruption, unless said different org plans some kind of group action then maybe
if you manage to avoid that and actually sabotage something you’ll probably be immediately busted and thrown in prison while making no meaningful impact
100% this. Sabotaging work for the federal government obviously has severe consequences. And in this scenario, you’d be a lone wolf, so there’s basically no chance you get away with anything meaningful.
“pls bro help me be a vile racist pig shitter”
its more like, 'are you a vile, racist pig shitter?! we’ve got work for you!"
vile racist pig shitters don’t want to work anymore!
The “50k bonus” is stretched out over like 3-4 years and it’s already only 40k and the salary is only about 50k so it’s just 60k salary for a few years followed by a massive pay cut. Oh boy!
man that fucking sucks. maybe it is really the intangibles.
what are we thinking:
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forced prison labor (likely too volatile)
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DAs start cutting deals to swap prison time for ICE time
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workfare
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special work visas for international mercenaries
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pure ideological commitment
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are any religious organizations positioned to offer up people for service to God in this way?
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use massive surveillance network to blackmail people into participating
Leaning towards #3-4.
- Trump is actively destroying the economy so there’ll have people desperate for work
These and #8 below mean that they might fill their recruiting numbers, which would be horrifying, but there is a small silver lining, which is that it will be an extremely porous organization full of people who absolutely don’t want to be there and will want to try to wash away their own crimes by betraying their coworkers
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